Exactly what is it and how do you know you have it (or have received it) and are extending
it to others? Forgiveness is the
releasing of an infraction or offense committed against us – the person. Forgiving the person for what they have done
to hurt, demean, or destroy us. It
doesn’t mean we forget because it’s not possible to forget the death of a loved
one caused by another, or a rape, or when one is paying a debt owed by another
which takes much time to complete. It is
ever before you. But to forgive the
person means you release yourself from being attached to them in a prison of
the negative incident. They may still
have to pay consequences – or not. They
may never turn around and apologize or express remorse for injuring and turning
your life upside down, especially if they themselves too have died or are
mentally disabled, or just evil.
Forgiveness is more for the forgiver than for the forGIVEE. J
The forgiven. If we find it
difficult to forgive others more than likely we find it difficult to extend
forgiveness to ourselves and to accept and receive forgiveness from
others. From God. We cannot believe that God or others have
truly forgiven us, and we apply that
same mentality against others when they have offended us.
Whether we realize it or not, we keep ourselves in a perpetual state
of trying to pay back or repay someone because of the wrong we’ve done, even if
it’s just psychologically or at the subconscious level. And because we have this expectation of
ourselves, we believe others have it of us as well, and thus it is how we
roll: We carry inside of ourselves an
expectation of others to eventually and somehow make restitution for the pain
they’ve caused, even though we may have said verbally “I forgive you”. We expect the gods, the environment to turn
on this person, not desiring for them to have the better life which we
ourselves have been denied because of their choices against us.
We can only forgive to the extent that we have experienced forgiveness
as our reality. When forgiveness has
become my truth (and the truth, once it is known, believed and received can and
will set me free) then I can give it to others, for now I have something to
talk about, something to give. We can
only give what we have, and we can only have what we’ve received, and we can
only receive what we’ve been given.
FORgiven. J
Jesus said “he who forgives much is one who has received a lot of
forgiveness, and he who forgives little is someone who has not received a lot
of forgiveness.” So it seems in order to
be qualified for a lot of forgiveness you must be one who lives on the edge in
some way. This doesn’t mean leading a
fast and dangerous life-style on the physical side, but it can mean you are one
who is not always careful about what you say about others, what you do with,
for or against others. You just go and come in and through lives
like tsunami-Katrina winds, or a bull in a china shop. You may smile coming and everyone is glad to
see you, but sooner than later they realize they wished you had never entered
their lives at all.
Eventually, when your tongue, feet, hands, and habits catch up with
you and you look behind to see what a wrecking crew your life has been in the
lives of others, if you have a heart, you will want to apologize and ask for
forgiveness. A lot of forgiveness. J
You will also want to first forgive yourself – release yourself from the
prison of what you cannot change, but do what you can to make things better for
those you’ve hurt (if this is possible) and for those you will meet in the
future.
Many of us who have been raised in a tight Christian box were
monitored ever so closely that we were not allowed to commit outward acts of
sin without quick and harsh consequences.
So because we developed a habit of “not sinning” – not hurting others
but pleasing everyone we met – we did not have the need for forgiveness. Thus we for years did not develop our
forgiveness muscles, and when we did commit wrong, we were the first to beat
ourselves down to a pulp. Why? Because we did not know how to forgive, not
even ourselves. In order to receive
forgiveness one must first not only do something wrong, but he/she must know
that they’ve committed a wrong.
Without this knowledge people continue hurting and destroying others
without a conscience. However, many know
right from wrong, but their consciences are seared to the point where they no
longer have any mental or emotional feelings, and thus they can hurt and
destroy without a fore- or second thought.
In Paul’s first letter to Timothy he wrote, “Now the Spirit expressly
says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to
deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own
conscience seared with a hot iron, . . .” I Timothy 4:1&2. [Emphasis mine.] If you’ve ever burned yourself while ironing
you are familiar with the sizzling sound of flesh being fried, not to mention
the hot burning pain. But then the
injured place goes through a time of numbness as it heals itself, and if healing
occurs in a healthy way, the feeling will return in good time. But if not, one could say that spot has been
cauterized, and it’s as though it has been separated from the rest of the body
where feeling remains.
This woman in the midst of men handling Jesus’ feet with perfume,
tears and hair was an expert at making men feel good. Perhaps some of the men in the room were
jealous to see her giving to Jesus what they felt belonged to them? “She never kissed my feet when . . .” “Humph, that’s the perfume she bought with
the cash I paid her and she pours it on His feet?! The nerve
of that . . .” Hmmm “What have you done
for me lately?” 14 verses of the seventh
chapter of Luke’s gospel are devoted to this spectacle and the reactions of the
witnesses: Jesus forgiving the gross,
horrible, social sins of a woman (of
all people for Him to forgive. Well “they” need it the most, don’t we? Hmmm).
She breaks a year’s worth of wages from giving her body away to
ungrateful men who would not offer her a retirement plan or dental insurance,
and they get upset because . . . But
Jesus said to them about themselves,
and I summarize – “when I came into your house you didn’t give me any water so
I could wash My own feet, you did not greet me at the door with a bisous bisous,
and you did not anoint my head with perfumed oil. But this woman in YOUR house Mr. Simon the Pharisee (Mr. Religious Person, Mr.
Holier-than-thou, Mr. Pastor, Mr. Deacon, etc.) has washed My feet with her
tears (she put her face and lips on My dirty feet), and wiped them with her own
hair (not a wig, but her real hair), and she anointed My feet with fragrant
oil. And by the way, since you
disapprove of her so much, how did she get in here, your house Simon, in the
first place? Do you know her Simon?” And now I quote, “Therefore I say to you, her
sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same
loves little. Then He said to her, ‘Your
sins are forgiven.’” Luke 7:36-50
The Worst Sinners make the best lovers when they truly are transformed
by the Lord of love. Now I’m not saying
to go out and live the worst life you can so Jesus can forgive you of 100,000
sins. Not at all, for you would destroy your
life and others for nothing, if you’re reading this message (and if you’re not).
J The point is first of all, we all need forgiveness because we are born
in sin after Adam. Therefore we need to
learn and understand what this means and the depth of God’s sacrifice for us on
the cross. When we truly meet this truth
and embrace it, and allow it to consume us, we will realize that we have been
forgiven much. John 8:31-32.
However, God has already made provision for our 100,000+ sins (per
person, per day, week, month, year, etc.) and He is willing to take the chance
on letting us sin again and again until we “get it” and get it good – His love
and forgiveness. And when we finally get
it, like this woman, not only will we lavish it back onto Jesus, but we will be able to truly give it to one another. Real forgiveness cost Jesus His life and soul
on the cross and an eternity in hell (oh yes, go find out what that means. It will blow your unforgiving mind.) so He
well knows how difficult it is to be forgiving – to live a life as the
forgiven
and the forgiving forgiver. Thus He also knows how important and powerful
it is, and that is why He paid the ultimate
price to first forgive us of our sins before we were ever born, and before we would ever hear about Him
and decide “yes” or “no” to this “Jesus Christ” as Savior and Lord of our
lives, and then secondly empower and command us to extend forgiveness to one another.
I did not know the depth of my forgiveness for others until I saw how
shallow the pool of forgiveness I was swimming in for, and towards myself. I’ve been told that it’s best to learn how to
swim at the deep end of the pool for after all, one can still drown in just two
inches of water and sustain a hefty bump on the head. Now where's the fun in that? So, let’s jump in.
Peace.
