Forgiveness

Exactly what is it and how do you know you have it (or have received it) and are extending it to others?  Forgiveness is the releasing of an infraction or offense committed against us – the person.  Forgiving the person for what they have done to hurt, demean, or destroy us.  It doesn’t mean we forget because it’s not possible to forget the death of a loved one caused by another, or a rape, or when one is paying a debt owed by another which takes much time to complete.  It is ever before you.  But to forgive the person means you release yourself from being attached to them in a prison of the negative incident.  They may still have to pay consequences – or not.  They may never turn around and apologize or express remorse for injuring and turning your life upside down, especially if they themselves too have died or are mentally disabled, or just evil.

Forgiveness is more for the forgiver than for the forGIVEE. J  The forgiven.  If we find it difficult to forgive others more than likely we find it difficult to extend forgiveness to ourselves and to accept and receive forgiveness from others.  From God.  We cannot believe that God or others have truly forgiven us, and we apply that same mentality against others when they have offended us.

Whether we realize it or not, we keep ourselves in a perpetual state of trying to pay back or repay someone because of the wrong we’ve done, even if it’s just psychologically or at the subconscious level.  And because we have this expectation of ourselves, we believe others have it of us as well, and thus it is how we roll:  We carry inside of ourselves an expectation of others to eventually and somehow make restitution for the pain they’ve caused, even though we may have said verbally “I forgive you”.  We expect the gods, the environment to turn on this person, not desiring for them to have the better life which we ourselves have been denied because of their choices against us.

We can only forgive to the extent that we have experienced forgiveness as our reality.  When forgiveness has become my truth (and the truth, once it is known, believed and received can and will set me free) then I can give it to others, for now I have something to talk about, something to give.  We can only give what we have, and we can only have what we’ve received, and we can only receive what we’ve been given.  FORgiven. J

Jesus said “he who forgives much is one who has received a lot of forgiveness, and he who forgives little is someone who has not received a lot of forgiveness.”  So it seems in order to be qualified for a lot of forgiveness you must be one who lives on the edge in some way.  This doesn’t mean leading a fast and dangerous life-style on the physical side, but it can mean you are one who is not always careful about what you say about others, what you do with, for or against others.  You just go and come in and through lives like tsunami-Katrina winds, or a bull in a china shop.  You may smile coming and everyone is glad to see you, but sooner than later they realize they wished you had never entered their lives at all. 

Eventually, when your tongue, feet, hands, and habits catch up with you and you look behind to see what a wrecking crew your life has been in the lives of others, if you have a heart, you will want to apologize and ask for forgiveness.  A lot of forgiveness. J  You will also want to first forgive yourself – release yourself from the prison of what you cannot change, but do what you can to make things better for those you’ve hurt (if this is possible) and for those you will meet in the future.

Many of us who have been raised in a tight Christian box were monitored ever so closely that we were not allowed to commit outward acts of sin without quick and harsh consequences.  So because we developed a habit of “not sinning” – not hurting others but pleasing everyone we met – we did not have the need for forgiveness.  Thus we for years did not develop our forgiveness muscles, and when we did commit wrong, we were the first to beat ourselves down to a pulp.  Why?  Because we did not know how to forgive, not even ourselves.  In order to receive forgiveness one must first not only do something wrong, but he/she must know that they’ve committed a wrong.

Without this knowledge people continue hurting and destroying others without a conscience.  However, many know right from wrong, but their consciences are seared to the point where they no longer have any mental or emotional feelings, and thus they can hurt and destroy without a fore- or second thought.  In Paul’s first letter to Timothy he wrote, “Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to deceiving spirits and doctrines of demons, speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron, . . .”  I Timothy 4:1&2. [Emphasis mine.]  If you’ve ever burned yourself while ironing you are familiar with the sizzling sound of flesh being fried, not to mention the hot burning pain.  But then the injured place goes through a time of numbness as it heals itself, and if healing occurs in a healthy way, the feeling will return in good time.  But if not, one could say that spot has been cauterized, and it’s as though it has been separated from the rest of the body where feeling remains.

This woman in the midst of men handling Jesus’ feet with perfume, tears and hair was an expert at making men feel good.  Perhaps some of the men in the room were jealous to see her giving to Jesus what they felt belonged to them?  “She never kissed my feet when . . .”  “Humph, that’s the perfume she bought with the cash I paid her and she pours it on His feet?!  The nerve of that . . .”  Hmmm “What have you done for me lately?”  14 verses of the seventh chapter of Luke’s gospel are devoted to this spectacle and the reactions of the witnesses:  Jesus forgiving the gross, horrible, social sins of a woman (of all people for Him to forgive.  Well “they” need it the most, don’t we?  Hmmm).

She breaks a year’s worth of wages from giving her body away to ungrateful men who would not offer her a retirement plan or dental insurance, and they get upset because . . .  But Jesus said to them about themselves, and I summarize – “when I came into your house you didn’t give me any water so I could wash My own feet, you did not greet me at the door with a bisous bisous, and you did not anoint my head with perfumed oil.  But this woman in YOUR house Mr. Simon the Pharisee (Mr. Religious Person, Mr. Holier-than-thou, Mr. Pastor, Mr. Deacon, etc.) has washed My feet with her tears (she put her face and lips on My dirty feet), and wiped them with her own hair (not a wig, but her real hair), and she anointed My feet with fragrant oil.  And by the way, since you disapprove of her so much, how did she get in here, your house Simon, in the first place?  Do you know her Simon?”  And now I quote, “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.  But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.  Then He said to her, ‘Your sins are forgiven.’”  Luke 7:36-50

The Worst Sinners make the best lovers when they truly are transformed by the Lord of love.  Now I’m not saying to go out and live the worst life you can so Jesus can forgive you of 100,000 sins.  Not at all, for you would destroy your life and others for nothing, if you’re reading this message (and if you’re not). J  The point is first of all, we all need forgiveness because we are born in sin after Adam.  Therefore we need to learn and understand what this means and the depth of God’s sacrifice for us on the cross.  When we truly meet this truth and embrace it, and allow it to consume us, we will realize that we have been forgiven much.  John 8:31-32.

However, God has already made provision for our 100,000+ sins (per person, per day, week, month, year, etc.) and He is willing to take the chance on letting us sin again and again until we “get it” and get it good – His love and forgiveness.  And when we finally get it, like this woman, not only will we lavish it back onto Jesus, but we will be able to truly give it to one another.  Real forgiveness cost Jesus His life and soul on the cross and an eternity in hell (oh yes, go find out what that means.  It will blow your unforgiving mind.) so He well knows how difficult it is to be forgiving – to live a life as the forgiven and the forgiving forgiver.  Thus He also knows how important and powerful it is, and that is why He paid the ultimate price to first forgive us of our sins before we were ever born, and before we would ever hear about Him and decide “yes” or “no” to this “Jesus Christ” as Savior and Lord of our lives, and then secondly empower and command us to extend forgiveness to one another.

I did not know the depth of my forgiveness for others until I saw how shallow the pool of forgiveness I was swimming in for, and towards myself.  I’ve been told that it’s best to learn how to swim at the deep end of the pool for after all, one can still drown in just two inches of water and sustain a hefty bump on the head.  Now where's the fun in that?  So, let’s jump in.

Peace.

Of Dirty Feet and Hair

I’m gonna just dive right in here straight, no chaser, shaken not stirred.  Mary, Lazarus’ sister washed Jesus’ dirty feet with her hair (her glory, her crown) (Revelation 2:10, 3:11, 9:7) (I Corinthians 11:15) in chapter 12 of John’s gospel before Jesus washed the feet of His disciples in chapter 13.  Hmmm.  A woman again steps out first and lays it all on the line for a man – her body, her tears, her reputation, her glory.  Under a man’s dirty feet.  She wore no wigs, or extensions.  It was all her hair.  She wasn’t fake, but she was the real deal.

Dirty feet, crusted with donkey and camel manure, mixed with dirt and dust from how many days?  Okay, how many hours?  Does it really matter?  Dooky is dooky.  Dirt is dirt.  And a woman’s hair is on her head around her face and shoulders.  Mary took the daily stench of walking and being strangers off of Jesus and bore it upon herself, wiping his feet clean with her tears and perfume.  Do you realize how much water she needed to clean His feet?  She did some heavy duty weeping, with her face on His feet.  Have we ever wept like that where a bowl of tears could be collected from our eyes because of . . . love?

I don’t just lay it all down at your feet Jesus – my glory that is:  my (hmm, are they really mine since they all came from Him in the first place?) talents, gifts, anointing, charisma, fortunes, fame, education, beauty, shapely and muscular body, etc.  Those “beautiful” things that I wear on the “top” of my head; Those things that define my personality; Those things which identify me to the world and create around me a fan base who follow . . . me?  Oh Jesus I lay them all down at your feet, but not only that, but I wash your feet with all of my accomplishments, my tears of pain and gratitude for what you’ve done in, for and to me, and the perfume of my life, my praise and worship and adoration because of Who YOU are.

Then Jesus turned around and washed the dirty feet of His disciples, a bunch of judgmental, proud, wealthy, arrogant, selfish, critical, muscular, fishy smelling, educated doctors and lawyers and tax collectors, always sleeping when they should be praying, athletic and competitive writers over flowing with testosterone cowards, Benedict Arnolds, snitches, thieves, backbiters, often wanting to use God’s fire from heaven to burn up people, places and things, MEN.  There were no women in that room in John’s gospel account, and if there were, he on purpose did not bring attention to them.  No, it was a man’s world where Jesus let down His hair before them.  Jesus became vulnerable before them, to and with them.  He took that part of themselves that they hated (and loved) in and about themselves and others, and washed it.  He took that part of themselves that they used to judge and reject others, and themselves, and washed them.  He touched them – man to man with no sexual connotations, no gender identity issues, no, not at all.  Brother to brother, Father to son.  

Jesus ministered to the hurting little boys hidden away inside each of them.  He reached out and touched them where they had been raped, molested, abused, accused and misused, but which had been covered up by their family names, education and professions, their zoot suits and Stacey Addams sandals, their Louis Vuitton man-bags, and Cartier earrings.  Oh what they had so successfully hidden from others with their affluence, attitudes and arrogance, Jesus respected them enough to wait to uncover behind closed doors, by washing their feet.

To touch someone’s feet is a very intimate act but because most of us do not care very well for our own feet, and because most feet are not beautiful and carry a very bad odor, we reject the feet – one of the most sensual parts of the body.  But every single organ in the body can be located in the feet by a trained masseuse, and they can identity internal problems through the feet as well.  Could this also be what Jesus was doing by washing their feet?  Ministering to their internal disorders by touching their feet?  See, we don’t know exactly how many hours He was with them in that room, but we do know that He washed 12, not one or two, but 12 pairs of stinking and dirty MEN’s feet – not women and children.  But cantankerous “You shall not wash my feet” know-it-all men. J

Imagine a women’s hair, nail and foot salon with the fans blowing, chemical fumes, hair hanging and flying around everywhere, children in strollers crying and hungry and chatter chatter chatter, all day long.  You just got back from one didn’t you?  Okay now imagine a men’s barbershop – arguing, politics, religion, young and old, testerone flying, competition, television, news, sports, laughter, profanity, gays and straights, just LOUD.  Well, Jesus had twelve clients that evening and He washed not only their physical feet, but their souls with His love.  This took some time.

Then He told them to do the same for each other.  Hmmm.  When was the last time you washed and massaged someone else’s feet?  Literally?  After much walking, carrying heavy bags and luggage, singing and dancing and preaching on stage, the feet take a licking and have to keep on kicking.  When was the last time you or I reached out in purity and innocence - the Spirit of Jesus’ love (WWJD) and washed and massaged a sister or a brother’s tired feet?  When was the last time someone did this for you?  For me?  Physically?  Spiritually?

Now I don’t expect anyone to wash the feet of others with their hair and not even with the removable kind, but a nice gentle foot soak and massage can do wonders for the soul and body.  Oh, and then to pray for them at the same time.  What a holy moment!  Laying our glory at each other’s feet.  If those of us who say we are disciples of Jesus the Christ, the Son of the living God, would do this to and for each other, egos would die, humility would be birthed and increase in us at such a powerful rate, and so many of us would experience inner healing from our hidden and secret pains.  If the Bible had not told us her name was Mary, I would ask “was her name Rapunzel?”  J

Peace.

Do What You Can

Mark 14:8a “She has done what she could. . .” The alabaster jar of perfume was hers. She had worked hard to “buy it”. It doesn’t matter what she did to get it i.e. her job description. The fact remains that it was hers and she could do with it what she wanted to do. She wanted to spend it on Jesus for he had done something great for her. He had changed and saved her life, caused her to repent (change her mind and way of living) and to stop destroying herself, and letting others use and abuse her. He gave her a reason to live and not just survive. He gave her life back its meaning, the blueprint God had stamped upon her before she was born. Jesus reawakened in her her destiny and desire to live, and thrive! (What woman wouldn’t want a man who would do this for her?) So she wanted to bless Him for blessing her. She did what she could.

She gave what she had, and “it ain’t nobody’s business if I do” was the song she sang as she poured the perfume upon him, starting from his head. It might have been “Joop! For men” or “Polo”. Maybe “British Sterling” or “Grey Flannel”. Or it may have been her favorite (and mine) “Beautiful”. J Whatever it was, it came from her heart and soul and it made Jesus smell good for His last hours on earth, for shortly after this incident, He was arrested, tried illegally by a nightlight, whipped and beaten and abused; And then nailed to a cross faster than one could sing the ABC’s song. He did not even have time to take a bath and wash the perfume out of his hair or his clothing. He went to the cross covered in her sacrifice, smelling beautiful as He endured the stench of hatred against Himself by those He created, by those He loved with every fiber of His being. Crucified by those He came to save. She did what she could to make Him feel good during a difficult time. I think every time He got a whiff of the perfume in His hair, He remembered that at least one other human, a woman, truly loved Him.

She empowered Him to do what only He could do for you and me, the world. (What man wouldn’t want a woman who does this for him?) And to this day she is forever with Him in history just like He said. Mark 14:9 “And surely I tell you, wherever the good news (the Gospel) is proclaimed in the entire world, what she has done will be told in memory of her.” How could she have known that a simple act of love, scorned and condemned by one-dimensional men, would be applauded and appreciated by God so much that He would always remember it and her, and never let the world forget it either? We don’t know her name, but God does. I believe maybe He leaves out her name (even though another gospel account calls her “Mary”) so we would remember her act of love and not create a religion or a sect or a set of beliefs upon this woman, for to do that would take the focus off of Jesus and His sacrifice. And she was about exalting and magnifying Him, not herself. So she did what she could.

Because we don’t know her name that means we can put ourselves in her place and do what we can too. What is your “alabaster box”? My alabaster box? What do I “have” that’s valuable to me, that for which I’m working so hard to achieve and earn in this life, on the earth, that I can lavish on Jesus, just because of Who He is? What can I “break” that cannot be repaired (for once the glass alabaster box is opened – only possible by breaking it – the perfume gets spilled out and must go somewhere) and pour on the Son of God? This is why those men called “disciples” condemned her, because the box could not be used again nor the perfume salvaged and sold. It could not even be saved to use the rest later, for it was not that kind of box. Nope, she did not, could not save any for herself. It was all broken and spilled out. On Jesus.

When we’re in church and/or in prayer at home and the atmosphere is charged with power, energy and the physical presence of God, we feel so much love for God and everybody, even our enemies, so we pray lofty prayers, by faith of course J and we make promises to God etc. We tell Him that we give Him everything. Then Monday and Tuesday come and we’re at home alone, or at work, in the daily grind, traffic with mean and hateful people. The high time we had on “Sunday” (whatever your Sunday may be) is just a memory. Our prayers were just words from our emotions, yes with the gushing tears and saliva and all. But we really did mean it at the time.

If we broke our alabaster box then, now we’re saying “it was an accident”, or we should have been more careful to break it in such a way that we could keep some for ourselves, for we didn’t mean to “spend it all at one time”. Or we should have taken more time to “think it through logically” away from that emotionally charged atmosphere in which we felt ‘pushed’ to give God our all. We didn’t mean to give it all, not all at one time in one place, and to ONE PERSON, for it cost us soooo much. Hmmmm. What a waste. On Jesus. And we’ve no guarantees that our life will be “better” (for better is in the eye of the beholder). We’ve no guarantees that we will receive the desires of our hearts for which we’ve prayed and believed. Darn! At least when we had “our” alabaster box we knew what “we” had and it was “ours”, and “we” could use it for “ourselves” when “we” wanted to. J

But now “I’ve” given it all away, to Jesus. And He’s going to take it to the cross, in His hair, on His skin, in His clothes. Oh wait . . . Oh no!! He’s taking ME to the cross, in His hair, on His skin, in His clothes! But I don’t want to go. I don’t want to “die.” So what else can I do? What else can be done? Do what you can.

As long as the box (me) is not broken, the perfume inside is “safe” and sound, but it is not being “enjoyed” by anyone, including myself. It is only when our alabaster box is broken that our fragrance can bless God and be useful to Him. It is only by being “broken” that we can and will be a sweet smelling savor to Him and to those “around us”, and even in “stinky” situations. (This doesn’t mean that everyone is going to like and love us. Be honest, none of us likes all the perfume fragrances in the world. But what it does mean is that we carry within us the fragrance of life, and light and hope – Jesus Christ – Who cannot be denied.) It is only when we pour out ourselves, totally and completely upon Him that we lose ourselves as we know ourselves, and gain unto ourselves the “we” He has created us to be. It is only when I allow Him to take me to the cross and nail me there that I will stop struggling to save some of me for myself, and I will cease being afraid that I will never truly live in this life.

When I sing and write I do so from where I’ve been. But sometimes I sing and write from where I am now, as I am doing today. Not because I know everything about what I know, nor what I think I know, and not because I’ve “arrived” and now can write a manual for fellow “tourists” and voyagers. J Some people think public figures have it all together and figured out, and shouldn’t be struggling with anything because he or she is a woman or man of the cloth. But they forget, there was only ONE Jesus (in the flesh) and He alone was and is perfect and sinless. The rest of us are cut from the same material as everybody else. If you cut us, even with a Bible in our hands and our hearts full of God’s love, we will still bleed. J

Nevertheless, even though we choose to “accept” God’s phone call to us to live a certain way and thus to die daily to what others are allowed to live, we are still human. And we may sometimes be given the 411 so we may sing and write about where we are going – where I am going – and that’s when I feel hope holding my hand; and as we walk she constantly tells me to just “do what you can.”

Peace.