While joking with some friends a few days ago, this thought came to me, “I am not the other one, I am the Only One.” Now I know you’re wondering what we were talking about, that prompted this mental response from me. We were discussing in short how for, and in some countries it is “normal” (not something to be avoided or resisted) for married men (not women) to have another woman on the side, (left side or right side, not sure it really matters which) and that the wedding band means nothing.
Even though I laughed, I laughed even harder inside because I know who I am, my lineage and background, what we stand for, and most of all WHOSE I am. I laughed even harder because I knew (and know) that I would prefer to be alone than to lower myself on purpose to KNOWINGLY enter a relationship with a married, taken, or not-married-to-me man. My soul rolled on the floor laughing because I know I am a princess desired by many and resisted by few, but I can only be won by One who is worthy of my love, loyalty, allegiance and adoration as a hot-blooded woman. Yes this is true. :-)
After I wiped the tears of hard laughter from my eyes, and brushed myself off of the lint I met on the carpet, and brushed my short cropped hair, I thanked God for the gift of laughter, joy and happiness I finally now experience with, and in my alone state. Even though I know it can be difficult and sometimes very lonely living life without a matrimonial companion, I also know how challenging it is, and can be being with one who is “right for you”, and how detrimental it is being with someone whom you never should have met.
I am grateful for the restoration of my soul, and the reparation of my fragmented personality through time spent basking in the love of God through His written and inspired Words, and people who truly love me patiently, and patiently love me. LOL! Having been where I’ve been, met the people I’ve met, experienced the good, the bad and yes some ugly things that I’ve experienced, and become the person I’ve now become – a whole and healthy woman – I am happy to say I know I deserve to be the only one, not the other one, in the life of a special prince.
Do I believe in fairytales? Not at all, but I do believe in fairy tale endings. LOL! Most of all, they inspire me to believe that all things are possible, (Philippians 4:13) and that there are still some real and good manly men in this world, and from my culture who believe like I do, and who desire to be with a real woman. They too refuse to settle for second best and so they refuse to give second best. They also believe they deserve to be the only one, so they refuse to settle for being the other one, and they refuse to place women in the position of being the other woman in their lives. To me, this describes a real man.
Now, my conversation with my friends was specifically about male-female relationships, but we all know that there are many things on earth and in our lives which we sometimes place before the most important ones in our lives. For instance, some of us spend more time at work or at play than we do with the ones we pledged vows with before God, and family and friends. Others of us place our children before our mates and good common sense. Still others of us put money and careers (not necessarily the same as work) above all others, and on and on. We could therefore refer to these “others” as “the other one”.
In Old Testament scripture in the book of Hosea, God tells this farmer-prophet to go marry a prostitute. Well, we all know what prostitutes do and they usually do it with more than one ;-); safe to say several “other ones.” Why did God tell him to do this? Well, first get this, even though he gave her a house (possibly a large colorful tent with a spiral staircase in the center), and car (maybe a camel with two humps, or horse), clothing, and cash (hmmm, yeah money), etc. she, her name is Goma, still went back out “to work”, and to be with “the others”. Why? Because it was in her heart, and soul to do so. She herself was not a whole person inside, within her soul, and thus she gave her fragmented personality (and body) to different fragmented “other ones.”
Yet God told Hosea to marry her for at least two reasons we can see explicitly explained in scripture: 1. As a sign to His people Israel of how they’ve treated Him. Hosea 1:2-3; 2. As a sign to His people Israel of how much He loves them, and the lengths to which He would go (and did go) to restore them to their place in His life – a vital and vibrant love relationship with Himself. Hosea 2:14-20, 23b. Through Hosea and Goma’s turbulent marriage God said to Israel, “there can be Only One,” and “I AM not the OTHER one, I AM the ONLY One.” The first of the Ten Commandments is God’s declaration of Who He is – "I AM the Lord your God . . . and don’t worship nobody else.” (AllntheJeans’ version.)
When we know who we are and Whose we are, our lives will reflect ones of wholesomeness and wholeness, and wellness. But when we are divided in our heart and soul about our identity, esteem and value, then others will treat us accordingly, for our words and actions will signal to them and thus give them permission to treat us like “the other one” rather than “the ONLY one.”
I love the movies and the television series, “Highlander”, and especially the soundtrack which accompanies them performed by the group, Queen. “We’re the princes [and princesses] (my lyrics) of the universe!” In every episode the star Duncan McCleod has to face and have a showdown with a fellow immortal who has evil motives and intentions, fueled by a black heart. The duel must end with a death by beheading, because "there can be only one". And Even though McCleod can be injured, as long as he manages to keep his head ;-) he will recover quickly to live, and fight again (another episode for sure). LOL! He is a type of the Christ except for this one important difference, if you will allow me this analogy.
Our Lord Jesus the Christ was mortally wounded, was buried in a grave for three days, resurrected on the third day, ascended to heaven, and is coming back again (okay, that's more than one difference) for our very lives to redeem, restore, renew, repair, rejuvenate, and reconnect (and eventually resurrect) our spirits to our souls to our bodies, that we may live no longer as fragmented beings (individually and collectively), but as whole persons. In Christiandom we are One in the Spirit – His Spirit making up His Body, and therefore our hearts and minds are one in Him, because He is not divided or fragmented. He is THE Head of ONE Body and We are His Body. We are not the “other one” but in Him we are “The Only One.”
Knowing who we are, where we’re from, Whose we are, and thus our true purpose for living – to fulfill our destiny/destinies on the earth, we can know how to truly live – like God is our One and Only! I am one – inside and out. I have been created to worship One and Only One. Even though He loves everyone He has created in the earth, he still loves each of us as though we are “the only one” and not “the other one,” Because in reality that is what we are. With Jesus we are His first priority. He will never leave nor forsake us. He will never put others before us. He will never have an affair of any kind against us. We are His One and only! There are no duplicates of you, or me.
Because I am one – spirit, soul, and body, I am made to love one Prince, to be loved by one Prince, and to be loved as one Princess. I am not the other one, I am the only one because: There can be only one.