The Domino Effect

I know I promised you part II to our last message, and I will keep my word, but there is something more pressing right now and I hope you will find it as interesting as it has been helpful to me.

One of my favorite children’s movies is called “Robots”. I enjoy the dialogue between characters, the interaction and intertwining of their individual developing stories, the colors, the double entendres, and the music. I even like the evil characters because their deeds and intentions are so ludicrous and cause me to look at relationships between people more closely.

A favorite scene of mine is where the star robot Rodney enters the place where Mr. Bigweld, the big inventor (no pun intended) has been hiding from the world. Rodney discovers how Bigweld has been spending his time now that he no longer is the chief and boss of his own company: Bigweld created a mammoth work of art using only dominos. It’s an extraordinary sight and reveals his ability to dream and create with unlimited vision.

Well, if you know anything about dominos then you know what happened even without my telling you: domino creations are made for the excitement of watching them fall. Perhaps you’ve seen the competitions on television. It takes vision, creativity, time and more time, and a lot of dominos to build these creations, but in just one second they can and are “destroyed”. “We all fall down”.

Relationships are like domino creations – It takes time and energy, time and patience, time and kindness, time and love, time and . . . to build relationships in the home, the community, the workplace, the church, the world: which is what gives our relationships their value and importance – the time, effort and spirit we put into “loving” someone else. One songwriter wrote

“No man is an island, and no man stands alone . . . We need one another and so I will defend each man as my brother, each man as my friend.”

In the Old Testament book of Genesis God said it was not good for man to be alone, without other humans like himself with whom he could relate. God alone was not enough, and the animals were on a different level altogether. J Relationships are designed so that the members are in such close proximity that when one hurts the others hurt too. When one person feels joy, so do the others in the relationship.

What brought this domino “theory” to my mind this week was a situation in which I found myself. I was the front domino and what I did or did not do for better or for worse, would affect at least one other person that I knew directly. But in this case I knew several other dominos so this piece of domino art work was more intricate than linear. The choice I made would touch eight people directly and then indirectly to me (but directly to them) those with who they were in contact (or standing in front of, if you will). You can see this in the “Robots” movie too – the design Mr. Bigweld created showed how intricate his vision was and that in many areas one domino knocked over several dominos at once in different directions. It was phenomenal until a tidal wave of falling dominos became the epitome and rush of the entire design! It was wonderful to watch in that context, but in real life this is not always the case.

Now before I continue let me say that this is not a negative message by no means, and in doing so I want to say that we can touch each other for good too. This is the point of this message – to open our eyes and ears to our words and actions to and for others as well as against others, which cause a positive or negative domino effect. Let us realize that when we always do the right thing for the right motives and reasons, everyone involved will benefit either in the long and or short run. However, if either of these two variables is negative, then not everyone (domino) is going to “fall” in a positive way.

If I do the right thing for the wrong reasons, this means I’m just a puppet with no heart or spirit. Can you say “Tin Man”? (I need to see the Wizard.) I therefore have no love for others. I’m just following the rules and “just give me my paycheck please.” I have no real investment in the task, or in the people with whom I’m working, and neither do I care about those for whom I am working to “create” whatever I am doing to create. (Kind of wordy I know, but I think you will understand it better like that this time.) I might as well stay at home for as the song says “your body’s here with me, but your mind is on the other side of town.” If anything goes wrong I will take the attitude that “it’s not my problem” and the stance of “call me when things are up and running again.” I will not make the effort to understand the problem, its origins, or if maybe I have something to contribute to solve the problem.

God said it this way when speaking to the Hebrew people: (and I’m summarizing some of what He said) “I’m not interested in your animal sacrifices like you think I AM (even though I require them of you.)” Why not? Because they did not come to Him with their hearts. God is more interested in relationships of the heart. The prophet Jeremiah speaks for God in chapter 29:13 this way in the book that bears his name, “Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require ME [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Ref. Deuteronomy 4:29-30, Amplified Bible)

If we do the wrong thing, I’m not sure we need to elaborate on that, however there will be consequences undesired, even if we do it for or with the right motives. I still love playing all the domino games – Dominos, Triominos, and Quadrominos, but after this incident and season in my life, I will forever be changed. I will never look at relationships, or dominos the same way again. J The Domino Effect is the main reason God commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. The problem is most of us don’t know what real, pure love is, looks like feels like; it has never been a reality in our lives, thus we don’t know how to love ourselves. (Leviticus 19:18) We knock over other dominos (people) like we knock over ourselves. For whatever you are doing to others you are first doing it to yourself, whether positive or negative. Oooh, stop punching yourself in the face will ya? Do you hate yourself that much? How about a shoulder massage instead? Hmmm, something to think about isn’t it?

My prayer for myself this year has been a selfish one, but one I know that others who come in contact with me will be so glad I prayed this way, and it is this “Father, teach me how to love myself and show me what that looks like, in Jesus’ name, Amen.” I cannot bless you until I have been blessed, for I will have nothing to give. I cannot “heal” you with words or deeds of love and encouragement until I have first been healed in this manner, for I must first experience good “health” (spirit, soul and body) to know what good health is, and can be for others. And since I know this is a prayer God will answer for me, then I know He will answer it for you too, whether I pray it for you, or you ask Him yourself.

For this is the problem with our world: we’ve not yet believed, received and conceived God’s love to and for us through His Son Jesus the Christ, and therefore we fail to embrace Him and allow His love to transform us into agents of love and change. (007? J I don’t think so.) So we do what we do whether right deeds for the right reasons, the right things with the wrong motives, the wrong acts with good intentions (is that an oxymoron?), or the wrong things with evil motives (two wrongs don’t make a right, neither do they make it right), and yet we still come up short because we are doing it, whatever “it” is we are doing, without real and true love. “Love does no harm to a neighbor”. (I Corinthians 13:1-13) “’Who is my neighbor’” a Pharisee asked Jesus? Hmmm, look in the mirror first. How you treat that person is how you will treat others, spirit, soul and body. You are practicing on you.

Every day, everywhere we go or don’t go, what we say or don’t say, what we do or don’t do – in some way we are affecting and effecting the life and lives of others in some way, positively or negatively. This is the Domino Effect. It is more important “how” we “fall” (“falling” is not necessarily a negative thing in the context of this blog message) than if we don’t fall at all. In the game of building dominos (and in the game of life and building up people and relationships, which is no game at all), the fun is in the building and the falling. Together. J

In “Robots”, after Rodney knocked over Mr. Bigweld’s domino creation, Bigweld did not get angry. He wanted them to join him in rebuilding it again. He kept such a positive attitude about it all even though it took forever for him to build it the first time. He built it for that very reason: for the rush of the tidal wave which they shared with him. Let’s do it again!

Peace.

Living From the Inside Out Part I: The Art of Listening

A while back I wrote a blog topic about hearing and listening, communicating effectively with each other. For some reason I cannot seem to get away from this topic, and maybe it’s because every day of our lives we hear and listen (maybe), we speak and do, we communicate with others which requires that someone listens while the other one speaks.

While studying to become a psychologist I enrolled in a course titled “Techniques in Counseling”. This course was all about learning how to listen, and therefore we spent a lot of the time playacting to demonstrate good and bad listening skills. The best counselors are the best listeners, and it is probable that the best listeners can be great counselors. Maybe it should have been called a communications course, but that term is used differently in our contemporary times to describe interacting with others through the media and internet etc. What did we learn? Well, I wish everyone on God’s green earth could take a course like this one, or at least have a professor like the one we had.

We learned that to really be able to help others we first needed to hear what they are NOT saying as well as what they ARE saying. This required that we stop talking period, even in our own minds, so we could be THERE fully with the person, not trying to complete their sentences, not trying to tell them what they feel and mean, not trying to rush them along so we could fix their problems with our analyses. We learned that if ideas come to your mind while the other person is speaking, don’t interrupt them for you are the listener now. Respect them enough to allow them to finish their thoughts all the way through, no matter how long it may take for it’s THEIR story and their problem. Discreetly write your thoughts on a piece of paper in a few words so you may bring them up later, for maybe, just maybe if you let the speaker talk long enough, they may cover what you are thinking, for guess what? Counseling is 95% listening and 5% speaking. J So, if you don’t like to listen to others, and the only person you want to hear talk is yourself, then you need to become a stand-up comedian. But eventually you will want to know why no one is laughing when you’re speaking, or why are they laughing behind their hands with smirks in their eyes and faces, instead of laughing WITH you. Hmmmm. Maybe it’s time to do more listening than talking eh?

Can you hear me now? Can I hear you? Usually when we ask these questions we’re asking how good is the reception of our method of communicating like when talking through the telephone, walkie-talkie, or even through the computer. (Can you say “skype”? LOL!) When we go to a hearing specialist it is to test how well we can hear with our ears, how well is sound landing on the auditory organs in our head. Are we experiencing any blockages to sound? However, when we ask “are you listening?” we are asking a much deeper question. We are asking not only can you hear and understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, but do you understand what I mean? Do you understand where I’m coming from? (Ended that sentence in a preposition; But that’s the most popular way to ask that question n’est ce pas?) In order to understand where you’re coming from, I must learn the art of listening.

The catalyst that propelled me in this direction of thought this week is a popular verse of scripture in the Christian Holy Bible. I have heard it quoted and toted and I’ve even noted it and wrote it a zillion times; everyone helping the speaker to finish the sentence because we all “know” this verse so well. So many things in life are just like that: so popular, so natural and normal to everyone that we assume that we and everyone else truly understand what it means. But for my own life, (and I can say by observation that I am not the only one who has suffered from this same malaise) I must be honest to confess that I did not truly “understand” at the heart level what this scripture is truly saying, and thus what it really means. I struggled to live it according to the understanding I have had all these years of the English words used to translate this particular verse (as well as many others), just to end up in the land of frustration again and again, wondering why I’m not seeing and experiencing the desired changes for myself. Oh, I’ve not yet spilled the beans yet have I? Okay, here it is, found in the Old Testament book of Proverbs: “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7a, Amplified Bible). Hmmm, notice that the writer, King Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived, did not say “For as he thinks in his mind. . .” neither did he write “For as he feels in his heart. . .” He said “For as he THINKS in his heart.” (This includes ladies too. We have not been left out, not by God anyway.) Very interesting. So exactly what IS he saying to us?

Well first of all, for the first time in all these years of reading this verse out of context, I decided to read it in its context to get all the meat and fat and skin on the chicken this time, and I was taught in my pastoral classes and other Bible courses that you must consider the verses around (before and after) the one verse you are studying – at least one complete verse (and if that verse is an incomplete thought, meaning it doesn’t end with a period, you must back up some more – or advance until you get to the first completed verse. This is how we keep Bible verses in their context and cut down on much confusion.). So let’s do that because I found the context of this verse also enlightening and very meaty for another blog topic. Yep! J

Proverbs 23:6-8 (Amplified Bible): “Eat not the bread of him (or her) who has a hard, grudging, and envious eye, neither desire his (her) dainty foods; For as he (she) thinks in his (her) heart, so is he (she). As one who reckons, he (she) says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost]. The morsel which you have eaten you will vomit up, and your complimentary words will be wasted.” Ooooh, this is cutting like a knife. Can you imagine being close to someone who really is jealous, envious, angry and holding grudges against you, yet who invites you to eat in their home time and again? But because your heart is not like that, you in your naïvete continue to fellowship with this person because your thoughts are pure and loving towards this person. Hmmm, so our focal statement of Proverbs 23:7a is true for both sides: “For as he (she) thinks in his heart, so is he (she).” I found it necessary and a lot of fun to do a word search so I could understand at least two words: “thinks”, “heart”, and “is”. Oh my bad, that’s three words. J See what I’m saying.

From the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, the word “thinketh” (as recorded in the King James Version of the Bible, the basis for Strong’s) is from the Hebrew word (#8176) “sha’ar”, pronounced shaw-ar’ meaning: from a primitive root to split or open; to act as gatekeeper; to estimate – think. An opening, door or gate. Oh my goodness. At first glance these words to describe and define “thinks” don’t seem to make sense, but then if we realize that the original translation of Aramaic and Hebrew words are pictures/symbols, then maybe we can get clarity. We tend to think of “thinking” (no pun intended) to be the job description of the mind, but this verse is attributing it to the heart and is equating “thinking” to be a door, a gatekeeper. Which may be saying to us that what gets into our hearts through the gate, the doorway i.e. our thoughts, is what we become. It reminds me of the adage “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. Well the thoughts that rock our hearts rule our world/our lives.” Whoa Sally! Hmmmm.

The word “heart” is from the Hebrew word (#5315) “nephesh”, pronounced neh’fesh meaning: a breathing creature, i.e. animal or vitality; in a figurative sense (bodily or mental) – any appetite, beast, body, breath, creature, mind, soul. To breathe. Hmmmm again with four m’s this time. It seems that Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived is trying to tell us something very important, that our “heart” is our life, our very breath, existence, our vitality, and he is not referring to the physical beating heart. He is referring to the spirit of the heart, for we know that without a beating heart no creature can live, but only humans have been given a spirit by God. God did not breathe His spirit into the animals and insects, only into humans.

So what I’m getting so far is that the words that enter my ear gates and lodge into my mind as thoughts, and then become beliefs in the heart of my spirit and the spirit of my heart is/are what rocks my world for good or bad. I am ruled by what enters my spirit as facts and truth whether they are lies, or the truth. I therefore AM what I think. “We are what we eat physically” (too much beef can leave us with the rear end of a cow) can be applied to this as well – “we are what we ‘think’ i.e. believe, breathe in.” Our reality is created from the inside out, not from the outside in. Sure, people can cause us problems and people can help us solve our problems, but when the final verdict is in, everything we are comes from within, from our own beliefs and desires. We may live for years adjusting our beliefs and desires to accommodate or imitate those of others, but when the rubber meets the road, we become what’s inside of us. This is why we must be careful what we “breathe in” – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Secondhand cigarette smoke and vehicle emissions are not the only pollutants we must strive to avoid “inhaling”. We must guard the gateways to our hearts for we will look like our thoughts, sound like our thoughts, feel like our thoughts, spend our thoughts, BE our thoughts whether they be conscious thoughts, or residing on the subconscious level of our being.

The art of listening therefore is doing what Solomon’s mother advised her son in this verse of scripture: “Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, Amplified Bible) Again, to keep this in context you need to read the previous verses and the one after this one, but for the sake of time and space (the final frontier) I will just summarize them. Solomon’s mom (also a wise woman) admonished him to pay attention to her advice concerning life issues and to let them guide him through life and in dealing with people. She told him that her advice and the commandments from the Lord would help him to live a healthy life. And when we get to this 23^rd verse I’m reminded of our verse of study above where our “thinking” is the gatekeeper to our very life’s force, for she told Solomon to ‘guard’ his heart. I can see security guards and bouncers and the guards of Queen Elizabeth’s palace standing around my heart to help me keep out all unsavory characters. Because I “is”, the third word in our study, what I think. This is a continual verb (and noun? hmmm), not one of a “has been”. It means that I am continuing to be whatever is playing at the theater of my heart. The only way to change the movie is to change my beliefs, and the only way to change my beliefs is to change my thoughts, and the only way to change my thoughts is to change what I am hearing and how I am hearing – mastering the art of listening.

If we want to live a healthy life, we cannot spend our time with those who have grudges against us for any reason, real or imagined, for if they have these “thoughts” and beliefs about us, then their actions will soon match their thoughts. Scary isn’t it? We cannot continue feeding ourselves information which disagrees with our values. We cannot leave ourselves empty waiting for others to fill us with what they want us to hear, do and be. We must open our “doors” (our thinking) only to whatever is “true, . . . worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, . . . just, . . . pure, . . . lovely and lovable, . . . kind and winsome and gracious, . . . virtuous and excellent, . . . praiseworthy . . .” (Philippians 4:8, Amplified Bible). (Please read this verse in its context when you have time. Philippians 4:6-9. It will be well worth your time.) We must master the art of listening – hearing not just with our ears but with our minds and hearts, so we may discern well whether what we are being fed is “food” fit for a king. See you soon for part II: The Art of Learning.

Peace.

Living Above One's Means or Living Within One's Needs? Hmmm.

I guess it depends upon one’s life experiences and perspective, and of course cash flow. Now what may seem extravagant to someone making $30,000 a year may be peanut butter and jelly to someone making $150,000 annually. You do the math.

I was reading an American male’s profile on a would-be dating site if I were dating, and he said he was looking for a woman who lives within her means and doesn’t get into debt unnecessarily. I kind of adjusted what he said to how I “saw” it, then I deleted his profile from my inbox. LOL!! Who in the world gets into debt unnecessarily these days? Because our country is in debt, as are most countries on this planet, as soon as you are born and given an ssn and an address, you are in debt. If the IRS can find a way to make you start paying taxes by age seven, then that’s what will happen. Last wills and testaments are so necessary in order to guard loved ones from being saddled with debt after a death, for the government hates death. Why? Someone has to pay those outstanding bills, and now that you’re gone to that other home on the range, they cannot harass you anymore. You do the math. J

Anyhoooo, back to my original thought. I was thinking about the high cost of living: To live healthily versus to live trying to restore one’s health. Or another scenario: To live healthily versus living frugally to the bone and then trying to restore one’s health. Hmmm, which is more cost effective or efficient? Which is considered to be “living within one’s means” rather than above one’s means? Which is considered, or when is one considered to be living within one's NEEDS?

Okay, I’ll get more specific with a common, true story scenario (hmm, I’ve used that word already.) that hits close to home. I am a meat eater. Always have been and always will be. It’s my blood type – type M-E-A-T positive. J I tried to go vegetarian a few years ago and became twice the person I was. That was more than I could handle – seeing double everywhere I went, and the other me always getting there 10 steps before me. The doctor asked “where’s the beef?” Well, often on my mind was the concern “but what about my cholesterol?” How will I be able to keep it from spiking later in life if I’m pasturing with cows and pigs everyday? So much to learn, and I hope a lifetime to spend doing what I’ve learned. But fast-forward back to the future.

“Your cholesterol is at the limit” the African French Doctress said. “Your HDL is very good, but your total cholesterol is at the maximum and we need to make some diet changes.” Uh huh. “Demi-lait”. (half-fat milk). I don’t like or drink milk. She said “no problem then.” (in English this time. LOL!) Cheese and butter also half fat (50 % graisse). Oh, I can eat a cheese’s cow! J “Only olive oil.” But I just bought a new fat bar of butter. I chimed in “I eat yaourt (yogurt) instead of milk.” She responded, “fine, but only 50% fat.” So she made a list of the best options for me. Then we began talking meat. More fish per week. I’d already been trying to do that but dropped my pole in the lake. Gotta go buy a new fishing pole.

Chicken and turkey. Yes! No skin. Homer Simpson’s “Doh”!!! There goes KFC and Micky D’s fried chickens on the bone (or bones with chicken). Fried-and-with-the-skin-on. Somehow I always knew this D-Day would come. I put my head in my hands and wept. LOL! I cried ‘no skin’! That’s just not possible. That’s not real chicken. I told the doctress J I would remove the skin after I cooked every last bit of the fat and juice from it. We laughed and again she said, “remove the skin”. Anyhooo, we decided beef was necessary only once or twice a week and that I must remove ALL of the fat BEFORE cooking it. Somehow I did not feel deprived. Can you say “George Foreman’s hamburger machine”?

All these years I’ve been reading about lowering one's cholesterol, and making small adjustments here and there, but rarely could bring myself to remove the chicken’s skin. After all they have rights too. Another change I never quite got around to was the buying of salmon. I’ve known it’s the best fish for you, and it is also one of the most expensive, so I would not buy it. I could get twice as many hamburgers, fish, pork chops, and ham slices for the price of a four-pack of anorexic looking salmon steaks. I had to live within my means.

Well, that trying-to-be-frugal-to-the-bone life style has landed me in a place I was trying to avoid and it’s called “The Jefferson's highrise cholesterol”. Now, I can either continue buying more for less NOW and end up paying a higher price just around the corner, or I can make the adjustments and buy the more expensive-good-for-me items, and lower my overall cost of living. Okay simply put, I can change the mantra I live by from the one my culture has raised me to live by, and then I can live the life I’m meant to live. I can live within my NEEDS, no matter how much they cost and no matter what others may think about it, for my needs are MY needs, and I can live happily ever after NOW. Or I can continue living within my means (whatever that means) and end up paying more to try to restore what I already had (and have) in the first place.

I’ve heard people say “oh it’s easy. I go shopping here for this and that because I can get it in bulk for less, but then I drive to this store for thus and so, and I get all my dry goods at this place. . . And then I prepare my meat like this before I prepare it to be cooked, and I do this . . .” (Either way, it looks like we all are paying somewhere. Yep.) Okay, that’s fine and good, but we’re all not the same. We don’t all live the same life-styles on the same budgets. Heck, many of us are using different currencies on different continents. Some of us live in cities surrounded by public transportation so we don’t spend money on vehicles, insurance, tires and repairs, etc. And don’t forget, gasoline. J But we do spend a lot of time waiting for those buses and trains etc. While others of us live in towns that are at least 30 minutes from the nearest convenience store with a gas pump, a modern gas pump maybe. Can you say “shopping mall”? Hmmmm.

For one person to live within his or her means will be different from another person’s, and usually we’re living in what we believe are our NEEDS. But for me, I’m just beginning to see, and learn and believe that my means and my needs are not the same, and I need to reassess my life based on my NEEDS and adjust my means to fit the task.

I’m using a simple story to make a point for me, and sharing this with you just because . . . hmmm, I want to. J Not because it’s gospel or TRUTH – for Jesus is truth. But because it is a lesson I’m learning and maybe it will inspire others to do their own life-change searches. I’m not writing a new Bible or Allnthejeans World Book of Facts and Stuff, but just doing what I love to do and was created to do – share stories. The Bible says for those of us who are children of God, “My God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory, by Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 4:19, KJV] Hmmm, I like that. So when did we start living by MEANS? When did that verse get changed? See, the Kingdom of God culture is different from our independent I-can-do-it-myself-and-my-way-politico-libero-supercalafragilisticespialadotious-north-south-AfricAmerEuroAustralAsian earthly culture. God did not promise to meet all my means. Maybe that’s why we’re not living the “abundant life” according to the Garden of Eden blue print. Our minds are too small (but greedy. Yes, greed is the sign of a small mind.) concentrating on what WE can do rather than believing, and living in what God said He would do (and has already done) through Calvary first, and then the empty tomb.

I NEED to live in good health. I NEED to decrease the high cost of my cholesterol. I NEED to eat more good-for-me foods such as expensive salmon and veggies that God created to meet that natural NEED in my life. Man overpriced them, but God gave them to us for free. Hmmm. Alors, God knows where I am. He knows where you are too. He knows where and why He has placed us where we are and what we are to do, and who we are created to be, and thus He knows how much it costs for us to be HERE. J So, with that said, I can afford to live within my NEEDS because He has already provided. He has already done the math.

Peace.

Mean Christians?

Mean Christians. Now isn’t that an oxymoron – two impossible realities coexisting in the same space? LOL!! But they do exist. We do exist I am sad and sorry to say, but why? Well, we’ll come to that in a minute, but this is what I’ve seen and experienced: These are Christians who have the GIFTS of the Spirit (as opposed to the FRUIT of the Spirit) operating in their lives (for the gifts of God are without repentance. Romans 11:29 The Amplified Bible says it best: “For God’s gifts and His call are irrevocable. [He never withdraws them when once they are given, and He does not change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call.]”) (also see Paul’s autobio at Galatians 1:15-16). They are very intuitive and “discerning, able to “see” things in others accurately most of the time, but the meanness in them hinders the recipients from being able to hear, see, and receive the message being delivered; usually a message of deliverance and salvation. But these types of messages must be served on silver platters of love – real love – not love with sloppy grace and no accountability for ones actions, i.e. “it’s okay, now you can return to your post” love. Real love has within it a change agent like detergent has within it chemicals to remove stains. We are those change agents.

However, we are agents of change first in our OWN lives AFTER we ourselves have received, embraced, and continue to live in that love. After we have first been washed in that detergent. What detergent? The love of God, through Jesus Christ His Son detergent. For what do we have that we have not received? Nothing. Nothing is of us. We own the rights nor the copyrights to nothing in this life, or in the kingdom of God. We can change no one, not even ourselves, but God’s love is the change agent within us – consumed by us, consummated within us, and His all-consuming love consumes us, changes us, and changes others – transforms them through the transformation we’ve experienced by contagion. (Wow, what a neverending sentence that was.) Anyhooo, it is transmitted in/through the AIR – by words (the gospel being preached and taught), by spirit/heart, bodies – physical love manifested in myriad ways. Can you say “show and tell”? And His love is transmitted through prayer.

Mean Christians. We really need to ask God to consume us with His love, “please Lord love all our deep pain and bitterness away!” It’s not all emotional, therefore many of us don’t realize we’re mean because we smile and speak to everyone we meet and see, even sometimes to people we know. J We give our money to the poor and strangers, yet we complain that the friends we loaned money to take too long to pay us back. Why can’t we just give it to our friends too? Duh! Oh, here’s an even better one: why can’t we just loan or give and not tell anyone else but the Lord? How about that one? Then we will receive our reward in heaven which is much greater than any payback we can get down here. Also, another note on that: The Bible doesn’t tell us to loan anything but to GIVE. Therefore, if we don’t have it to give away, then we don’t have it to loan. Just say “no, I don’t have it. Sorry.” That’s not being mean. That’s being real.

Mean Christians. Full of public diplomacy, but talking out of both sides of their mouths, breaking commitments because better ones come along (especially money motivated ones), betraying the confidence of those we call friends as though we own the rights to their private stories, and disclosing their identities in the telling as well. What’s up with that? Gossiping Christians are mean Christians. Which reminds me of a true story. I was having a great and funny conversation with a good friend. We laughed so hard he could not breathe. What in the world did we talk about? Ourselves. We talked about our quirks and our conversations with God as we’re trying to respond to His . . . you got it, love. Oh we had one hilarious time and before we hung up I said to him “we talked and laughed for an entire hour about God and ourselves, gheri/jheri/Jerry’s curls and the movie ‘Coming to America’ and not one word of other peoples’ business, which is none of our business anyway. Not even a movie star.” We did not reveal the secrets of others to each other for we found our lives to already be funny and worth talking about.

It’s not necessary for us to talk about and laugh about other people, or even talk about the negatives. Unless we’re going to pray for them, we have nothing worthwhile to say. All we have to do is think about ourselves – from where we’ve come, remembering all the Lord has done, the good, the bad and the ludicrous of our lives and we can have a laugh for free at no one’s expense, for we’ve already lived and produced the movie. On top of that, we can make each other’s day for in all of our life’s stories is some kind of inspiration, if for no one else but ourselves. Yes, I’m inspired by my own life and existence for I know that it could be different. It could be worse. I could be in another hot world. But for the grace of God . . .

Bisous Bisous!! Hee hee, but just before you arrived I dogged you to a stranger (someone you didn’t know) because you were late for our rendezvous. That’s witchcraft. Ick and ew as Buffy would say. Mean Christians. Well, enough of that.

Why are Christians mean? Because when we received Jesus Christ we were not immediately and continuously bathed and marinated and soaked in His love until the texture and “flavor” of our characters were transformed by His. We were “raised” by other mean Christians who were our examples of Christians. Religious and legalistic Christians, like the Pharisees – full of traditions and rituals, knowing all the scriptures, church doctrines, on every board in the church, never missing a service, keeping all the floors and pews clean etc. are mean Christians. Religion does not make happy Christians. But a relationship with Jesus Christ living His life in and through us, off the cross and out of the tomb mind you will make us full of joy and more laughter, even when times are not so funny. Many of us got saved like this: took a shower, not with a washcloth or loofah but rubbed on the soap by hand, not turning off the water first, so really soap and dirt never made contact. We barely dried off, so that the towel could have done the job the soap missed, put on clean underwear (I won’t say more about that) and beautiful clothing on top. And don’t forget the expensive perfume, no not cologne. Then we went out with our gifted and talented selves and were told we could and should start evangelizing the world because Jesus has saved us from a living hell etc. But we still don’t KNOW Jesus. We just met Him, shook His hand (actually the pastor’s hand and those who gave us the right hand of fellowship for joining the church of other mean Christians), picked up a Bible, some Gospel tracts and a microphone and off we went in the name of the Lord out into the wild blue yonder! Yippee! PTL and God is good all the time and all those other Christianized and zealot clichés we’re covered in like post-its on a cork board. Whew. J

But inside of us remained the remains of the “old creature”. You know what happens to dead things? They rot and give off toxins and poison the environment around them. This is why we have cementaries (you caught that didn’t you) . . . because it is not healthy and safe for the dead to live among the living. Hmmmmm. Five m’s that time. (Yes, I did mean to NOT say “the living among the dead”. Things that make you go hmmm.) There must be a healthy separation for no one builds a house in a cemetery. (No typos that time.) J That’s why Jesus rose from the dead after three days in the tomb. It was impossible for Him to live with the dead. (Just one reason of course, from my book.)

It takes time to know Jesus, hence it takes time to become like Him. It takes time to be transformed from a mean person to a gentle person. To “BE” means to manifest, to “become” in reality and normality (I make up some words as I go along) from the inside out. Not just a smile and a hug and a “praise the Lord I’m wonderfully blessed and highly flavored!” NO! So, “if any man/woman BE IN Christ he/she is a New creature. Old things have passed away, behold ALL things have/are/do become new.” (II Corinthians 5:17) [emphasis mine] This verse is two-fold. In one fold it’s talking about our position in Christ in the Kingdom of God. This is an immediate change when we receive Christ into our lives. We’ve made a move from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light. The second fold describes the process of becoming new, becoming Christ-like first in our spirit, and soul, and then our actions. It goes something like this, from the “AllntheJeans World Book of some living, learning and understanding”:

Once a person not only receives Christ into her heart, but in turn surrenders her entire self to Him – Spirit, soul and body (and goes on to spend time daily learning what that means and then learning how to apply it first to herself), Jesus lives inside of her, living His life through her, changing her from the inside out to reflect His character of love through her. Old ways of thinking, talking, behaving, spending money, time, energies, etc. die away, maybe little by little and others right away, but they do die because they Have passed away (positionally at the kingdom exchange toll booth, and by faith), and therefore must and will manifest in reality that faith. ALL things are NEW as she is IN Christ covered by His blood, washed in the water of His Word, purified by the fire of His LOVE which burns away all malice, bitterness, wrath, gossiping, etc. (Titus 3:2-6) as Paul also teaches from the mouth of Jesus the Christ. (Remember the Damascus Road - Acts 9:1-9). Oh yeah, Paul - Saul was a mean Pharisee and he had to spend years in the desert alone being changed by Jesus the Christ before God could trust him to the baby church born just after Christ’s resurrection. (Acts 7:58; 8:1, 3; Galatians 1:15-24) He was full of RELIGION. (Galatians 1:13-14) Moses also was a mean Egyptian Hebrew/Hebrew Egyptian and he had to spend 40 years in the desert being melted so he could be gentle like a shepherd to lead Israel to the Promised Land. Just to name a few.

Maybe you are a Moses or a Saul turned Paul. But it still takes time to be transformed for old habits die hard, and those we’ve had since childhood, or that were passed on to us through our DNA, genes, lineage, ancestral lines etc. parental and familial “show and tell” examples and models; and those we fell in love with and addicted to, and those we did that affected no one else so we were never brought on the carpet concerning them for they were “nobody’s business if I did”, those “habits” that society says are legal and okay so it must be alright for a Christian to do too, for after all we are IN this world J and how can we have a testimony if we never did anything? Hmmm, I think you get the picture. It takes the rest of our lives to be like Jesus, but that’s still no excuse for Christians to remain mean for the entire journey.

The process of this Christian Love-walk with God doesn’t and did not happen and start “in the shower” on the first day that God entered our heart/life. (Then again, maybe for some readers that is where you met the Lord. I wasn’t there after all. My bad. J) Therefore we need to spend some quiet time with Him letting Him LOVE us clean. Outside of and away from our boisterous and energized church services, pretty clothes and makeup. We cannot live in church; we ARE the church. We must live in the world which is why we need as much personal time with Christ as possible. Sometimes love will feel and be like warm oil being massaged into the aching shoulders, neck and back. Other times love will feel like a loofah instead or a pumice stone. Love may sometimes feel and smell like rose petals and silk after a grueling day. At other times it may feel like a bone being broken so it may be reset for proper growth. Maybe at times love will feel and be like a sharp knife trimming away some meat with the fat because there’s no other way to get it all out – the infection, the bad and unwanted parts.

When patients are being treated with chemotherapy or radiation for cancer, some healthy cells and tissue die along with the cancerous ones. Depending on the complexity of our personalities i.e. hard-headed, hard-hearted, hot-tempered, hot-headed, stubborn and rebellious, deceived and blind to our own faults, etc. God sometimes has to extract some of our “good” as His love lovingly removes the cancerous mean cells from our personalities. But Isaiah 64:6 says that “ ALL our righteousness (our best deeds of rightness and justice) is as filthy rags.” [Amplified Bible] {emphasis mine} So it matters not how good we think we are, God knows better than us that and if we are mean, and why we are mean.

What do we do? Let’s submit and subject ourselves to, marinate, submerge and swim in God’s love for us so much until we don’t even recognize ourselves, and all we see, hear, feel and know is Jesus-love. WWJD. That’s what HE did! He was so convinced of His Father’s love for Him, He found it easy to love you and me all the way to Calvary. We must let His love massage our heart’s pains and wounds and the bruises in our souls until healing sets in and we are made whole. Let us learn to believe in His love and acceptance of us no matter what kind of childhood or adulthood we may or may not have experienced. Let’s not just memorize and quote and pray His Word, but let’s taste Him (“oh taste and see that the Lord is good”), ingest Him, digest Him, consume Him and let Him by His love consume us to the point that His nature becomes real in us. This is not mindless, silly, stupid, out-of-their-minds Christianity. No, this is an intelligent, wise, knowledgeable, relationship with God. This is kingdom living. This is the way God has designed for us to become loving, patient and kind like Himself, for God is love. (I Corinthians 13:4-8, 13) It’s time for us to make the phrase “Mean Christians” an oxymoron.

Peace.

Some more good reading to marinate in:

• Ephesians 4:31-32
• Colossians 3:8-10
• I Peter 2:1
• Isaiah 53