Don't Take It Personally Part II

After meditating for a minute I began to see another side and angle to not taking “things” personally:  God versus sin.  What do I mean?  Well, God is holy.  Period.  Sin is not holy.  Hmmmm.  They are not friends in any way, never have been and never will be.  You will never catch God playing kickball or volleyball with sin on anyone’s playground or back yard.  So wherever “sin” is, God’s holiness is in opposition to it.  Don’t take it personally.  It’s a principle like gravity.  Gravity neither loves nor hates.  It just is. J  But God loves and is in love.  Keep reading, please.

Maybe it has taken me a minute to clearly understand this, but I’ve learned that this means no matter who we are or where we are on this planet, if we “wear” sin like a garment or a brooch or a banner in our heart, soul, body, life, decisions, life-style etc. it attracts God’s anger and judgment like a homing device.  Period.  Don’t take it personally, just get rid of the sin.  Sin marks us and keeps us on the radar – bleep, blip, bleep, blip.  Hmmmm.  So because God loves His creation, that would be you and me, for what reason would He create something He hates?  (He didn’t.  Read Genesis 1, and John 3:16) Even the satan was not always the way he is now.  He had a proper name which was lovely in itself – Lucifer.  But because of the pride he had within him he fell in love with himself and desired to overthrow God, thus his lovely name fell with him and became stereotyped as evil, representing his nature. (Ezekiel 28:13-19) Too bad we can’t separate the stigma of his name from what he is.  Moving on . . .

Then humans, God’s love creatures, appeared on the radar of Lucifer for destruction.  How would he do it?  He would infect them and afflict them with the same malady he had and has, which resulted in his being thrown down from his place in God’s presence:  Pride.  All sin stems from pride.  Pride is not an emotion, but its presence is and can be revealed (and concealed) through, and by our emotions.  Once we know what pride is, then we will know what it is not, and we will be able to recognize it when we “see” it.

Pride in a nutshell is the belief that “I can do all things through ME, MYSelf, and I”.  My gifts, talents, strengths, education, knowledge, wisdom, beauty, physique, street smarts, etc. can and will get me “there” (wherever “there” is) without the need of any outside help – except to do the foot work of my “commands”.   (My wish is your every command.  LOL!!) But this is no laughing matter.  Pride can be displayed through arrogance and haughtiness, but it can also be hidden through a meek and quiet disposition.  One can be full of pride, missing God’s will and desires while having a submissive, “I can get along with everybody” persona.  How?  Because pride doesn’t need our emotions and emotional expressions to exist within us.  It just needs us to believe we can do all things in and of and by ourselves, not needing God’s permission, neither needing to seek His heart or will first, not needing to wait for God’s provision and direction, and certainly not needing to surrender our choices and decisions to Someone else’s omniscience i.e. God’s.   You get the picture.

When we are diseased with pride (in any area of our character and lives) the only voice we can hear is our own, and because we will always tell ourselves what we want to hear, we will believe we’re hearing the voice of God.  “I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM!  WE ALL SCREAM FOR I SCREAM!  (I know, the last one is supposed to say “Ice Cream”.  Remember, it’s my blog.  J  But you hear the point right?)

The Bible says that “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble.” (James 4:6)  For years I thought humility meant saying “yes” to everyone with a nice voice and a smile to keep everybody happy.  But then I could not understand why if everyone around me was happy, why wasn’t God blessing me with His promises?  Because God wasn’t happy, and He wasn’t happy because He was not being considered first in the equation, i.e. in all of my life’s choices and decisions.  “In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:6)  “Seek ye first the kingdom of God (a relationship with God through Jesus the Christ) and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.” (Matthew 6:33) And to be honest with you, I am glad to have finally learned that humility has nothing to do with making others happy, because with or without a humble personality, no one can make and keep everybody happy.  Not even God tries to keep everyone happy, so who did I think I was to try to accomplish such an impossibility with and in my own limited capacity, and also since God did not give me that never ending homework assignment?  God is not obligated to accept and be happy with the things we decide to do on our own apart from Him and His first-rate counsel and direction.

So what does humility look like?  Humility means believing, knowing, and living as ones reality on a daily basis, the truth that I can’t do anything on my own.  I cannot breathe, speak, see, hear, taste, or touch without God.  I cannot swallow, blink, walk, talk, clap, dance, or chew gum (without chewing my tongue into pieces) without the Spirit of God flowing and living in my spirit keeping me alive.  Knowing all of this, how much more should I (we) realize that I cannot and should not try to make important (or even seemingly insignificant) life’s decisions without first seeking God, and then waiting to hear what He will say to me?  Yet we do it all the time, bypassing the “Mr. Know It All of the Universe” Who knows the end from the beginning.   And we wonder why our plans don’t pan out?  Or maybe they begin with a promise but end horribly.

Being humble doesn’t mean we will get all the answers (or any answers) in advance, neither does it mean that we will never run into trouble.  However, a life of pride doesn’t afford us these benefits either.  On the contrary – being humble and being proud can and will lead us into challenges and problems, for Job said “man is born for trouble.”  J  But the difference is:  Who is leading your life, and thus helping you (or not, depending on the WHO) to decide how and how well you will deal with the good, the bad, and the uglies of life.  Knowing that the One who knows all things in advance is leading our lives can give us peace in the midst of the storm, air conditioning in the fiery furnace, vegetarian lions (vegans) in a lion’s den.

Jesus Christ died on the cross personally because God the Father loves all of us personally, therefore He does take our sin personally.  However, He judges all sin impersonally because all sin is sin.  Only God can do that.  Yet He takes into consideration each person’s level of knowledge of right and wrong, maturity and ability to know Him when He judges our sins, for it is not His desire to destroy us, but to be reunited and reconciled with us in a love relationship.  Jesus calls that having “eternal life” – yes it’s for the “here and now” not just the “there and then”.  God carries us closely inside His heart NOW because He wants us to spend our THEN with Him.  So the next time you hear people complaining about what appears or seems to be the wrath and judgment of God, if you can get a word in edgewise, just tell them “don’t take it personally”; unless of course they need to.

Peace.      

Don't Take It Personally . . .

I now understand why I experience pain when people are rude to me and break the law around me.  First of all, I care too much.  I care about right and wrong, justice and injustice.  I even have a difficult time laughing at the funny accidents broadcasted on television because I know that even though we don’t get to see it, the people have been injured and are in pain.  So what  if it may have happened months or years ago, when it happened it happened, and the pain was real in real time. J  Possibly even life-changing for several of them, but of course we don’t get to see the rest of the story.  (RIP Paul Harvey.)

But I know I have to walk the line and obey the laws even if others don’t and won’t.  Being raised in a Christian home as a child Christian was not easy for I was constantly reminded by my saved and unsaved family members of the things I could not do (but they could), and many times I felt like a private with several sergeants keeping me in line.  “Hup two three four . . .” J  Therefore I took everything personally when it came to respecting others and obeying the laws of the homeland.

 

Recently, for the first time that I can ever recall in life, I defended my position to get on the train behind the man I was waiting, against a man on my left who tried his best to cut in front of me when the train arrived, without feeling any guilt or remorse for doing so.  But I would not let him, no not this time.  He seemed angry because I would not give up my place to him, but this time I did not care.  (Thank you for your silent strength Rosa Parks.)  I did not take it personally as a black woman.  This time I saw it for what it was:  everyone was trying to get on the same train because no one wanted to continue waiting.  I had missed the first one because there were just too many cattle (Raw Hiiiiide!!), I mean people on that train, and I had to wait 15-20 minutes before the next one to my city would arrive.  Plus I was already there before he was.  White or black, male or female, right is right even though it may be tight.  I came home with a clean and clear conscience knowing that I did nothing wrong and I hurt no one, including myself this time. J

Being overly sensitive can cause us to respond childishly and also cause us to leave ourselves defenseless in the face of blatant abuse and injustices.  But to become an insensitive person can leave one to become hard, selfish and uncaring.  I don’t want the personality pendulum to swing to the opposite extreme, so I asked Father God for the balance of the personality of Jesus Christ to remold this area of my character.  One in which I have a healthy sensitivity to myself and to others.

As I pondered this incident (being overly sensitive can cause you to think about things long after they have passed) I wanted to milk it for all the life lessons I could since I have to use the public transportation system often.  So I began to take notes about what I could see and decided to share them with you.  From AllntheJeansWorld thoughts and Meditations J.  Bien sur.  I can see at least four scenarios from two vantage points.  The vantage points are:  Strangers and Acquaintances.  Strangers are people we don’t know who we meet in passing for the first time.  They know nothing about us and we know nothing about them.  Acquaintances are people we are familiar with whether in the shallow or deep waters of life, friends or family.  They know us in some way whether intimately (deeply in the well), or just socially (surfers).

Each group of people can do and say things to us and mean their words and actions either personally or impersonally.  This is how I broke it down:

1.      Strangers, acting for or against us in an impersonal fashion have nothing vested or invested in us.  They are not giving us a second thought in any way for any reason.  They don’t feel or think that they have anything to gain or lose in the encounter we have with them no matter how long or short the duration.  They are just being who they are, passing through our common space and place in time.

2.    Strangers, acting against or for us in a personal way right away are already living with their prejudices on their shoulders.  They carry some sort of anger against a certain type of people according to race, gender, size, ethnicity, nationality, etc.  So when they encounter someone against (or for) whom they carry this judgment, they may go out of their way to express their prejudice (pre-judgement) against that person personally, even though they have had no prior contact with them. 

In both cases the stranger is acting out of who or what he or she is, not because there is a meaningful relationship between himself/herself and the other person.  So, don’t take it personally.  J  Just let it go and keep on moving on.

Now let’s look at the scenarios with acquaintances.

Ø The old adage or cliché “that’s just the way he/she is” could be applied to acquaintances who act out for or against us in an impersonal way.  You know the kind – the persnickety aunt who doesn’t like for you to touch anything when you enter her spotless house.  Or the grumpy uncle whose face never smiles even when he’s happy and laughing.  You just never know how to take him.  They are not trying to hurt or protect anyone’s feelings, or to even make a statement.  They may even be said to be “insensitive” for they don’t try to discern the situation or the feelings, needs, and desires of others around them.  They just do and say without much thought for they are just into their way of being, and doing things. 

Ø On the other hand, acquaintances who act out against or for us in a personal way are doing so armed with experiences and histories from their encounters with us through life.  The past, whether positive or negative, mark or mar their feelings and thoughts for, or against us.  Even if they are trying not to show it, if the past has not been successfully resolved, history and experiences will continue to effect and affect how they respond and interact with us.  Hmmm, this scenario is more difficult to ignore and not take personally, for we cannot give a blanket statement which says “it’s not about me” or “it’s not my fault”.  We are involved personally in some way.  Still . . .

How can one go through this life without becoming overly sensitive – taking everything personally on the one hand versus being insensitive on the other?  Well, I found some answers in the Good Book, but I won’t quote them chapter verse and line.  But here they are anyway:

ü By loving others AS we love ourselves.  These are the direct words of Jesus the Christ.  When we practice loving ourselves we will become experts at loving others.  Do you take personally everything you do?  Nah!  You like to give yourself a break too.

ü Treating others the way we want to be treated even if they don’t treat us that way.  Somebody has to start a positive chain reaction in society.  It might as well be me.  It might as well be you.  Right? J

ü Loving ourselves because insensitive people certainly are not going to do it, because they don’t know how.  We do in public what we do in private, so you can best believe that if people are being insensitive to you in public, then they are first being insensitive to themselves and their families at home.  Don’t take it personally. Feel sorry for them, and pray for their families. J

ü See the bigger picture, especially in public places:  It’s not always just about me/you/us.  Everyone is trying to squeeze into the same space at the same time.  If you can afford to wait, then extend your time and space to those who feel they cannot.  If you are one of those who cannot, then proceed with caution, but don’t’ take the insensitivity and non-caring actions and attitudes of others personally.  Maybe they are late too, or just have never learned patience. J

ü Back in the 80s Jermaine Jackson recorded a song that says “Don’t take it personal, take the bitter with the sweet.  Easy come easy go. . .”  Life is full of the bitter and the sweet, and the bitter usually has a way of deepening our appreciation for the sweet.

When I finally opened my mind and eyes to really see the people around me from inside the needs and discomfort of my own skin, rather than just as strangers to be tolerated for a short span of time, I experienced a release inside my soul and stomach.  These people don’t know me and I don’t know them even though we’re staring at each other while waiting for the same bus or train.  That’s all we have in common – the need to ascend the same mode of transportation at the same time.  (And the polluted oxygen in the air, and . . .)  The best way I am going to maintain my sanity and ability to love the unlovely and the unloving is to allow the Lord of Love to keep me marinated in His love for me, so I will never forget just how precious to Him I am, and how precious He is to me.  Armed with His love for me (love is an important part of our armor), I can defer my space to others and I can stand up for myself when I need to without leaving the scene with pain in my soul.  The only thing therefore, that’s important for me to take personally is Jesus Christ’s love for me.

Peace.