My Space

Sounds familiar right? Well it has been here all along. It wasn’t just created by someone who is technical and internet savvy. All my life (sounds like Sophia from the movie “The Color Purple”), and I’m sure you may have too, I’ve been dealing with the issue of my space. Being an American my comrades and I believe in giving each other sufficient space to breathe, to move, to sneeze, cough, and all kinds of other human things we do. ;-) Sometimes we hug and kiss and walk arm in arm and hand in hand, but when it’s over it’s time to back off and let each other breathe. Now if this is normal with family, friends and for some of you, pets (comme tu veut), how much more should it be a normal reality between strangers? Hmmm. Three m’s that time.

I know different cultures have different mores, but we all share the same oxygen and the need for it so I think we need to talk. My space is my space, and your space is your space, and as strangers the twain shall never meet unless, and until we mutually agree to invite each other in. To me this is just respectful and safe. We’re living in the time of pigs flying in space (better known as The Swine who flew. Who knew?) so no one is safe as long as we’re ignoring and disrespecting personal space. Even if we all wore masks I would still look at you funny if I could feel you breathing down my neck in the checkout line at Monoprix. Please back off. Thank you.

Also, I’ve found myself more here of late, having to share dressing room space with more than one person, male and female. The first time this happened I was literally appalled and could not bring myself to undress. What is this world coming to? :-0 Anyhoooo, as time continued to come and go and the incidents increased I learned how to deal with it and some tricks of my own. However it was in one of these settings that I realized that many people know nothing about respecting the property of others in their space, much less their space. (Don’t get lost, stay with me.) I had a chance to see my reactions and responses from outside of my body for these for me were out-of-body experiences, and to the others I appeared to be a different person. Someone they never met and someone they never expected to meet with my face on. LOL!!!

For many years I have shared my space with others sometimes voluntarily, but mostly because I had to. Children growing up in my era did not have “rights”. We just did what we were told. Period. And because of this I learned to make myself small to get by, to get along and to get along with others, and to keep people happy. (For some reason this did not work when trying to avoid gaining weight. Food for thought for another blog.) But maybe you’re familiar with the old cliché, “give an inch they’ll take a mile with a smile.” (I added the smile part.) Well, most of the time it is true. When we don’t make our boundaries known people will treat us like we’re not even there. I have experienced this just walking the streets of Paris. Everyone walking towards you is not blind with a dog, and if they were with a dog the dog would keep them from walking into you. No, I’m talking about people who are different from you who feel they own the sidewalk or the space you’re walking or standing in and they proceed to walk over you, if you let them. No thank you, this is my space. Thank you.

Back to the dressing room. When you must share space with several others in a limited amount of space, each person must find a way to respectfully coexist with the others in that space. (I just love talking like this. :-)) I found a corner for me and my purse and bag and I made sure I used my possessions to create a perimeter around myself. Therefore I, and everyone else knew where I in my space began and ended, and where they could begin in conjunction to me. Well, one person in my short absence chose to ignore my possessions as though they were not there, and when I returned and saw the utter lack of respect I took action. I removed this person’s belongings from among my things, for we are not sisters, cousins or close friends, neither we did not make a pact or agreement to mélange our belongings. So to do so in my absence . . . , well I was appalled to say the least (I seem to like that word at this point in time. It will be another one next season. LOL!!). My reaction, small and silently executed did not meet with a smile, but the message was simply delivered and clearly understood. Please, respect my space.

Our space is all we have. Who you are, who I am – this is our space. It is given to us by God. Some of us require more space than others because of our size, our lifestyle, our possessions (whatever we’re defining “my space” to be), etc. yet it is ours. First your body and your mind – your personal physical, mental and emotional space. Then your home – your living space. And wherever we go our personal physical space is our own, and we must treat ourselves like we expect and deserve to be treated by others. How we carry ourselves and what we allow others to do to – for or against us, informs them how they can act in our space. My actions demonstrated to that person what I will and will not tolerate in the small space I have, and what I will not do to others as well. What was done to me, of which I did not approve, I expect of myself not to commit against others, for I reap what I sow and in larger measure.

My space. When you have had to share your space for so long, when you finally get your own space, you feel like you can breathe and yes, you may even become, or appear to be selfish to others. But that’s only to those who did not know you before. The historical (not hysterical) people in your life will nod in agreement and say “it’s about time you had your own space.”

I was sharing some “my space” stories with some special friends of mine (you will know who you are when you read this) which made us laugh, but I shall not share the details here. Nevertheless stories beget stories and we discussed how the French like to greet you with a kiss, but they don’t like for you to hug them. Now for me, a kiss to a stranger is really getting into each other’s space, even for a short second. I would rather shake hands (maybe. My hand, metro hand. That’s another story and joke. I guess you just have to hang out with us, but I’m sure you have a bazillion stories of your own to share too. That’s why when you create your blog, you will have YOUR space. LOL!!!), which is what we Americans do. Another way Americans greet each other, more familiars i.e. friends and family is by hugging, which is what the French don’t like to do. Well, I tend to hug anyway so I think either we will compromise, or I will break you down. To me a hug is more warm and intimate. The French kiss (not tongue in cheek. LOL!) is so superficial because for many people they don’t kiss you at all. All they do is make the kissing noise in your ear, which shows me what? You’re a fake. Now I have some special friends who make sure I know I’m being bisoused (kissed) and I know they mean friendly business. And they also hug and receive my hug in return for they know it is real. Now I don’t mind this happening in my space. Real people with real, good and genuine intentions . . . positive energy happening up in here. If this is you, welcome to my space!

A long time ago, space as we now know it was not like we know it. :-) But the Almighty Creator decided to speak His thoughts into space and voila, things began to change, in this space. Mind you, it was all always His space to begin with, but He decided He wanted to share His space with others. Hmmm, the moon and stars, the sunshine, and to separate the waters into different size bodies called lakes, rivers, streams, oceans and seas. Then He wanted to express His sense of humor in His space and created animals and some things I still don’t understand the purpose for, bugs. LOL!! Now I do understand worms – to aerate the soil, but snakes, in this space, I still don’t understand. Anyhoooo, like I said, it was and is His space. Just like this blog is one of my little spaces in the www, the earth, part of the universe is God’s space.

Oh, then as He was rocking in His swivel rocking chair (I like those the best because they rock and go around in circles and recline!! I believe God’s throne does this so He can have a panoramic view of His creation and have fun, and not get bored.) He brought forth His vision of the two legged kind and He made man. And then WO-man. I love to be a part of the ones called WO or Whoaaa!! Yes!! Go ladies, go ladies!! Baby got back. Okay that’s enough of that. We’re all in His space. Hmmmm, and the Bible says in Genesis that we’re made in His image, so part of that means He created us to have our space in this place too. He even respects us in His space. As mighty and omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent, and sovereign that He is, He chooses to respect us, thus laying the foundation for how we are to operate in His space – respect of Him, ourselves, and one another. Yes! And this is part of the reason mean and evil people still exist in the world – God respects their choices. This is not easy for those they hurt and kill, but they demonstrate that the blueprint of God’s nature is not on their souls, for they lack self-respect, and therefore cannot respect others.

No, it’s not selfish to demand that others respect you in your space. As a matter of fact it is criminal not to do so, because when we don’t respect ourselves, others will not respect us and we won’t respect others (for we cannot give what we do not have, and we cannot perform what we have not practiced, we cannot teach what we don’t know, and we cannot lead where we’ve not gone or where we won’t go), and when others don’t respect us we become a society of disrespectful beings, which makes us lower than the animals.

My space. Watch how I act in my space. Therein lays the clue as to how I will treat you in your space, and when you are in my space. Also therein lays the clue as to how I expect you to treat me in your space and my space. And if you don’t know, just ask. Peace.