Living From the Inside Out Part II: The Art of Learning

I love learning, new things, a new twist on old things, new concepts, new dimensions. Learning new things doesn’t mean I have to agree with everyone or everything; just be willing to see, hear and consider what I’ve not seen and heard before. I can still always say “no”. I love receiving incoming missiles of new information and revelation that can be used for practical living, and just for fun too. I agree that a mind is a terrible thing to waste (and so is time). When I returned to school to study psychology I loved having more to do than I could handle. I’d rather have a plate with too much food than not enough for guess what? I could always take a doggie bag and munch again later. J This is how I feel about learning. Surround me with books and information and I can munch on them forever.

Learning is not to be confused with memorizing. Even though I believe in memorization, I don’t live by it. For me and to me memorizing information is only temporary and lasts for a short amount of time. For instance, one subject we studied in high school was “government”. Well, I’m not a very political person, don’t like politics nor the spirit of politicians. But I know that if I am going to become a well-rounded person I need to break through many of the topics I don’t like, and decide to learn about them and identify what I dislike about them as well as how they apply to real people and ordinary living. Or is that ordinary people and real living? Hmmmm.

Back to the government class – I managed to finish the class at the end of my senior year with five A’s and one B for the entire year. I recall studying for the tests the day and night before taking them, and the morning of. I would go to school hours early, and thank God that my government class was the first class of the day, and I would polish up on everything. Then I would go in and ace the tests. But if you asked me a day or two later what many of the topics meant that were on the test and how they could benefit me and others even now, I must be honest and tell you I don’t have much to say. Why not? Because all I did was memorize the information. I did not try to learn it for understanding and application to life. It was not my “favorite” topic even though the teacher was great and I had great classmates too. (My favorite class was band. J But not for this blog space.)

Hmmmmm again. Five m’s this time. Memorization comes in handy when you need to ingest and retain information right away and for short-term situations. But if you want the incomings (I love the lingo of military, police and sci fi movies) to stick to your bones (not my thighs please) so you may be able to use the information again and again in the future, then this is where learning comes in.

For instance, when I’m trying to learn new songs I will write out the lyrics so I can see them – take a photo of them with my eyes so they can be downloaded to my brain as a photograph. I also read them aloud to myself without the music and learn the story in the lyrics. I then study the song to try to understand from where the writer is coming, and to try and relate to him or her. I try to establish a relationship with the song through the lyrics as well as the music, but also the writer. I invest time and concerted effort into the song.

Now I don’t want to have a long-term relationship with every song I may sing because sometimes I’m asked to sing songs that on the surface seem to be “okay” but the spirit behind the artist singing and marketing the song is of such that I don’t want to become intimate with. So I relegate that song to be memorized and not learned. I may wait for the last possible minute to work on it, or I may carry it around on paper even to the performance so I may deliver it well, but when the performance is over, so is my relationship to the song. Memorization is for short-term relationships while learning is for life-long ones, in my opinion. (After all, this is my blog. Thanks for reminding me.)

There are so many methods for learning, and I enjoy learning new methods for learning too. This keeps me on my toes and keeps life exciting. Subjects that intimidated me in school as a youngster now appeal to me because I see from a distance cognitively, and up close and personal experientially that I will benefit from them the more I know. For instance, marketing and economics (Econ is what my fellow geeks in school would call it). Now I must understand these topics in order to understand why some products do well in certain geographical regions and not at all in others. Also investing and investments. Ugh! But hey, I know when the compound interest begins to roll the dice in my favor, I will be glad I invested (pun intended) my resources. Anyhoooo . . .

To put in my time and money (especially when it comes to attending a university for instance, or other learning institution) means I am serious about what I’m uh . . . learning. Education is too expensive just to relegate to the top half of the brain through memorization. Aren’t you glad that your doctor, lawyer, firefighter, and other serious public servants are required to put in the time and energy to LEARN rather than just memorize information?

While studying to become a nurse, we worked with cadavers. Yeah, cold dead peoples' bodies. We had to learn all the organs and veins and arteries, what they did, to what they were connected, abnormalities, why they happened and so on and on. It was so much information to learn in such a short amount of time that I burned out with the cooking. J I knew that I needed to learn the information and why I needed to learn it and that it would benefit me later in life for life . . . but I was tired of learning something I was not excited about learning. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy learning and understanding how the body works etc. but at that level, I don’t think that’s what I need to know in order to do what I desire to do, now that I know what I desire to do (“to thine own self be true” means you must put in some time learning YOU).

You see, the fun part of learning, (can you say “art class”?) is learning information about topics which not only will benefit you for life, but which you enjoy. Like I said before, sometimes it is necessary to learn things that are “boring” but we don’t have to build our lives around learning boring things. We just need to be willing to eat some peas, okra, brussel sprouts and other fibrous green veggies that we hated as children, in order to nourish our bodies in a healthy way. Boring but important subjects would fall into the category of “vegetables I hated as a child”. LOL!! Yes, like politics. They’re not going to go away and we will be affected by what we know and don’t know. (Ignorance is not bliss. We need to know what a “Stop Sign” means so the end of our life will not come when we’ve only just begun.) It’s just how will we be affected and what will we be equipped to do about “it” when the rubber meets the road and stuff starts to hit the fan?

The art of learning has within itself the willingness to be stretched beyond one’s current capabilities to embrace new experiences and the willingness to change one’s mentality to accommodate the presence of new information as a reality, and not just as abstract principles on paper (or the computer screen). To be willing to let go of the “old” to receive the new, especially when the old has already fulfilled its purpose and it’s expiration date has come and gone. When we learn something, we never lose its benefits no matter how old the lesson(s). Au contraire. Instead we build upon it, and it makes room for new learning. We mature through it , because of it, and by it.

Sure enough the art of learning does involve change and if we are afraid of change, then more than likely we may not be having much real fun in life. I have never been one who could draw beautiful pictures, but I do love colors, crayons, magic markers, paint etc. I loved finger painting because I didn’t have to explain what I was creating. Because I did not know. LOL!! I loved it when the art teacher would change us from one form of art expression to another for it allowed me to investigate what was hidden inside of me that I enjoyed and would be willing to become vulnerable to expose to the world. Of course children laugh at what they don’t understand, but you know what? It doesn’t matter. We are no longer children, but laughter is good for the soul and body. (Learn to laugh at yourself, in a nice and healthy way.) Change is a part of the art of learning which enables us to move from what we’re not comfortable doing to what we finally discover to be our niche.

Learning has so many colors. Maybe you learn best by seeing, your cousin learns best by hearing, and your aunt learns best by touching. It doesn’t matter how you learn, it just matters that you keep an open mind and a willing heart to learn and to use different methods for learning. Repetition is a part of learning too, but some people say they only need to hear or see something one time, and they believe they “have it”. That’s cool too. Whatever floats your boat, but just don’t ask me to believe that you will make a good doctor, for I would prefer that you take a second and a third look before making certain decisions, and incisions. J

Some of my favorite Bible verses are found in the book of Proverbs: “Get skillful and godly Wisdom, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation); do not forget and do not turn back from the words of my mouth. Forsake not [Wisdom], and she will keep, defend, and protect you; love her, and she will guard you. The beginning of Wisdom is: get Wisdom (skillful and godly Wisdom)! [For skillful and godly Wisdom is the principal thing.] And with all you have gotten, get understanding (discernment, comprehension, and interpretation).” (Proverbs 4:5-7) [Amplified Bible] ((Pretty repetitive isn't that one?) Some people believe that if you speak about verses from the Bible that they only apply to things connected to the church, but this is not so. The God of the Bible created the universe and all knowledge and wisdom originates with Him. He knows marketing and economics, nursing and psychology better than all of us. Wall Street has nothing on Him (“Can’t touch this”!). He is our sea and wealth of knowledge and understanding. Wisdom was with Him when He created the world, so if we want to learn anything well that we learn, we need to consult the Greatest Teacher and Artist in the universe.

The artwork our Creator has given to us is for our living and for our enjoyment, and its purpose is for us to spend time learning Who He is and how much He loves us. The art of listening is to aid us in the art of learning, and the art of learning is for the art of living. Listen well, learn well. Learn well, live will. Stay tuned for part three: The Art of Living.

Peace.

Fractures, Breaks & Bruises

Recently I witnessed up close and personal (albeit not against or towards me mind you) a situation where someone was injured. As I observed this person’s actions in the wake of the incident I allowed my mind to recall injuries in my own life and in the lives of others I know personally, and some of the lessons we learned through them. And this is what came to me . . .

Fractures and breaks are those injuries which involve the bones and they can appear on x-rays. I’ve talked to those with fractures and they say the pain is worse than a broken bone. Wow! A fracture is like a crack and it is an awkward injury. Not quite a break, but yet rendering the limb or body part useless for a while, and also needing to be guarded and protected with plaster of paris (no pun intended) i.e. a caste.

A break of course is a . . . break. The bone is no longer one piece but at least two, maybe more. It too must be protected, is painful, and the limb or other body part cannot be used for a good minute. Because it can be seen by all, the patient can and will receive sympathy and much needed help without solicitation.

In my own personal experience I’ve never had a fracture or a breakage (maybe to my little toes when I stumped them on the coffee table in the dark while walking through the living room on my way towards the staircase.), but I have experienced bruising/bruises from time to time, and they can be so painful, especially depending on the location, and of course the depth of the bruise. I noticed that you rarely if ever cover a bruise with a special bandage unless the skin has been significantly cut which would invite an infection. Again in my case, that was never the case. I was blessed for the injuries not to be that extensive, yet deep enough that I am able to empathize with others who have been bruised – physically as well as emotionally and psychologically.

When caring for the bruise I would guard it with my hand or the positioning of my body so as not to allow anything to come in contact with it. I was very “defensive” concerning that injured area. Hmmmm. You can hear what’s sizzling in the skillet can’t you?

Because we’re trying to protect the bruised area we usually keep it covered and hidden from view, but also because they are unsightly and we don’t want people to suspect anything false or maybe the truth, or to think the worst when there is no "worst". Nevertheless, bruises don’t have a good reputation. They can occur at any time for myriad reasons, but our responses and reactions to all kinds of bruises are the same: protect.

Protection usually comes in the form of defensiveness, as previously stated, guardedness, emotionally closed, as well as shortness, impatience, cutting and biting, having a sharpness to one’s personality. So when you think of weapons that are used to physically protect – knives, guns, bats, sharp objects then you can get a mental picture of what happens beneath the surface of our being human when we experience “internal” injuries.

The problem with living from a bruised disposition is that we treat everyone as a potential and probable “criminal” against us, a perpetrator of our pain. Over time, if we do not seek help from being bruised by the words, actions, or deeds of others, but instead continue to internalize them, we build our entire personality around the bruise, and even after it no longer exists in “real time”, our character will still be molded to a phantom. It will be as though we are rehashing the past again and again even when we’re not thinking about it. Yet from time to time something will happen, what psychologists call “triggers” which will awaken the memories in our psyche and we will be taken back to the future. Because the past becomes the present and the present becomes the future; it will be like “groundhog day” until we get tired of being harassed and hassled by what others have done against us, for they’ve done what dogs do: they do their business and move on, but leave you standing smelling like . . . (feel free to fill in the blank with your own descriptive terms.). Ahem. Anyhoooo, we cannot Undo what has been done to, for or against us, but we can decide what we will do in the wake of it all, each and every time. I’m still learning to practice these tips, so I’m sharing them with you as I continue living.

1. Take a bath. LOL!! This is the first thing to do when you encounter a disrespectful dog. Get rid of the stench and mess, and maybe even discard the clothing. On the emotional and mental side this may take the form of prayer and reading God’s Word first to “cleanse” your mind and emotions from the situation so you can think more clearly. (Even talking it out with a safe humane person.) I know this is what is necessary for me, and it works. But sometimes I have to take several baths after one incident. Don’t worry, this is normal. Think about people who come in contact with skunks! Ick.
2. Forgive, release and bless. We forgive because we too need to be forgiven. None of us are perfect and we all hurt others from time to time, whether we know we’re doing it or not. Sometimes people may never come to us and tell us what we have done. They may be exercising forgiveness, release and blessing towards us, or they may just be avoiding us to prevent from being hurt again, or they stay away to heal and regroup. Jesus tells us in John’s gospel that if we don’t forgive other’s their infractions (i.e. sins) against us, then God the Father will not forgive us our sins against Him. Hmmm, I really need and want God to forgive me of my imperfections, so I work hard to forgive and release. What does it mean to release? It means you are willing to “let it go” or “let them go”. It’s like setting a prisoner free, not making him/her pay for their crimes. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat for them to walk on you again and again. Think about it: in order to keep a prisoner, you have to become like a “watchdog”. You’re not free to go either for if you leave, who’s going to keep your prisoner for you? And think again: would you want to be held captive by someone you’ve injured? Injured animals are dangerous to be around, and so are injured humans who don’t seek help and healing. And to bless. To me, when I bless those who have hurt me, I experience the greatest relief and release in my spirit, soul and body. Words are a powerful force and when we use them for good towards others, not only do they experience something good, so do we. It has been scientifically proven that people with arthritis are full of unforgiveness, deep resentment and bitterness, and when they forgive, release and bless those who hurt them, their bodies release the toxins and pain of that painful dis-ease.
3. Learn. The first thing I’ve learned is that as long as I live and remain among other humans, there will be lifelong opportunities to be hurt by them, some in passing, some in my close relationships, some work-related. And guess what? There will be the same number of opportunities for me to hurt others whether on purpose or inadvertently. Another lesson I am learning is to be more quick to hear and listen than I am to speak, because most infractions can be avoided if we learn to use our two ears more than our one mouth. For once words exit our lips, they cannot be taken back. I often ask myself “is it necessary for me to verbally respond, or would it be better for me to just be quiet?” Will my speaking help, or add something good to the situation, or will my words leave victims in their wake? The Bible in the book of James says the tongue is a fire. Here, I’ll let the apostle say it in his own words, “Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze! And the tongue is a fire.” James 3:5 &6a (Amplified Bible). Remember how the wicked witch threatened the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz? Hmmmm. Don’t play with fire.
4. Be considerate. Treat others the way I would want to be treated. Think about how what I do and say will affect others by thinking about how I would feel if they did it to me.
5. Let love rule. Love does no harm to a neighbor. I Corinthians 13. Once again, this is not being a doormat, so you will just have to read this love chapter to see what (and Who) love really is. Love is not sappy and syrupy. Love is not a bisous and it is not a song or a flower. Love is stronger than that. It is not an emotion, for emotions change. There is human love – phileo, eros, and storge. And there is Divine Love = Perfect Love = God – Agape. It is not affected by who and what we are or what we do. It is not controlled by our emotions, words or deeds. It is the most powerful force in the universe and one must receive God into his/her heart in order for this Agape to become a reality within and through one’s life. Period.

I am sure you can add to this list from your own life experiences, and you know like I know that it is not always easy to pat your head and rub your stomach and chew gum and walk backwards all at the same time. J But once we begin to slow down our roll i.e. our thoughts and words and the speed with which we share information and respond to incoming missiles from others, we can decrease the number of casualties in society from becoming bruised souls, for what goes around indeed comes around and we reap what we sow. But maybe this sowing and reaping principle will open our eyes even wider when explained this way: when we sow a seed, it is not a seed that we reap. No, instead we reap a tree (or some other plant) with fruit which contain more seeds with the potential for more trees and fruit, and so on. And don’t forget, unless we cut down the trees after the first season of fruit-bearing, they will bear fruit again, and again and again.

Do we really want to reap the words and deeds we sow into the lives of others? Do we really want a return (compound interest style) on our “investment”? Do we really want to be bruised as we have bruised others? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Anyhoooo . . .

Peace.

The Domino Effect

I know I promised you part II to our last message, and I will keep my word, but there is something more pressing right now and I hope you will find it as interesting as it has been helpful to me.

One of my favorite children’s movies is called “Robots”. I enjoy the dialogue between characters, the interaction and intertwining of their individual developing stories, the colors, the double entendres, and the music. I even like the evil characters because their deeds and intentions are so ludicrous and cause me to look at relationships between people more closely.

A favorite scene of mine is where the star robot Rodney enters the place where Mr. Bigweld, the big inventor (no pun intended) has been hiding from the world. Rodney discovers how Bigweld has been spending his time now that he no longer is the chief and boss of his own company: Bigweld created a mammoth work of art using only dominos. It’s an extraordinary sight and reveals his ability to dream and create with unlimited vision.

Well, if you know anything about dominos then you know what happened even without my telling you: domino creations are made for the excitement of watching them fall. Perhaps you’ve seen the competitions on television. It takes vision, creativity, time and more time, and a lot of dominos to build these creations, but in just one second they can and are “destroyed”. “We all fall down”.

Relationships are like domino creations – It takes time and energy, time and patience, time and kindness, time and love, time and . . . to build relationships in the home, the community, the workplace, the church, the world: which is what gives our relationships their value and importance – the time, effort and spirit we put into “loving” someone else. One songwriter wrote

“No man is an island, and no man stands alone . . . We need one another and so I will defend each man as my brother, each man as my friend.”

In the Old Testament book of Genesis God said it was not good for man to be alone, without other humans like himself with whom he could relate. God alone was not enough, and the animals were on a different level altogether. J Relationships are designed so that the members are in such close proximity that when one hurts the others hurt too. When one person feels joy, so do the others in the relationship.

What brought this domino “theory” to my mind this week was a situation in which I found myself. I was the front domino and what I did or did not do for better or for worse, would affect at least one other person that I knew directly. But in this case I knew several other dominos so this piece of domino art work was more intricate than linear. The choice I made would touch eight people directly and then indirectly to me (but directly to them) those with who they were in contact (or standing in front of, if you will). You can see this in the “Robots” movie too – the design Mr. Bigweld created showed how intricate his vision was and that in many areas one domino knocked over several dominos at once in different directions. It was phenomenal until a tidal wave of falling dominos became the epitome and rush of the entire design! It was wonderful to watch in that context, but in real life this is not always the case.

Now before I continue let me say that this is not a negative message by no means, and in doing so I want to say that we can touch each other for good too. This is the point of this message – to open our eyes and ears to our words and actions to and for others as well as against others, which cause a positive or negative domino effect. Let us realize that when we always do the right thing for the right motives and reasons, everyone involved will benefit either in the long and or short run. However, if either of these two variables is negative, then not everyone (domino) is going to “fall” in a positive way.

If I do the right thing for the wrong reasons, this means I’m just a puppet with no heart or spirit. Can you say “Tin Man”? (I need to see the Wizard.) I therefore have no love for others. I’m just following the rules and “just give me my paycheck please.” I have no real investment in the task, or in the people with whom I’m working, and neither do I care about those for whom I am working to “create” whatever I am doing to create. (Kind of wordy I know, but I think you will understand it better like that this time.) I might as well stay at home for as the song says “your body’s here with me, but your mind is on the other side of town.” If anything goes wrong I will take the attitude that “it’s not my problem” and the stance of “call me when things are up and running again.” I will not make the effort to understand the problem, its origins, or if maybe I have something to contribute to solve the problem.

God said it this way when speaking to the Hebrew people: (and I’m summarizing some of what He said) “I’m not interested in your animal sacrifices like you think I AM (even though I require them of you.)” Why not? Because they did not come to Him with their hearts. God is more interested in relationships of the heart. The prophet Jeremiah speaks for God in chapter 29:13 this way in the book that bears his name, “Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require ME [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” (Ref. Deuteronomy 4:29-30, Amplified Bible)

If we do the wrong thing, I’m not sure we need to elaborate on that, however there will be consequences undesired, even if we do it for or with the right motives. I still love playing all the domino games – Dominos, Triominos, and Quadrominos, but after this incident and season in my life, I will forever be changed. I will never look at relationships, or dominos the same way again. J The Domino Effect is the main reason God commands us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves. The problem is most of us don’t know what real, pure love is, looks like feels like; it has never been a reality in our lives, thus we don’t know how to love ourselves. (Leviticus 19:18) We knock over other dominos (people) like we knock over ourselves. For whatever you are doing to others you are first doing it to yourself, whether positive or negative. Oooh, stop punching yourself in the face will ya? Do you hate yourself that much? How about a shoulder massage instead? Hmmm, something to think about isn’t it?

My prayer for myself this year has been a selfish one, but one I know that others who come in contact with me will be so glad I prayed this way, and it is this “Father, teach me how to love myself and show me what that looks like, in Jesus’ name, Amen.” I cannot bless you until I have been blessed, for I will have nothing to give. I cannot “heal” you with words or deeds of love and encouragement until I have first been healed in this manner, for I must first experience good “health” (spirit, soul and body) to know what good health is, and can be for others. And since I know this is a prayer God will answer for me, then I know He will answer it for you too, whether I pray it for you, or you ask Him yourself.

For this is the problem with our world: we’ve not yet believed, received and conceived God’s love to and for us through His Son Jesus the Christ, and therefore we fail to embrace Him and allow His love to transform us into agents of love and change. (007? J I don’t think so.) So we do what we do whether right deeds for the right reasons, the right things with the wrong motives, the wrong acts with good intentions (is that an oxymoron?), or the wrong things with evil motives (two wrongs don’t make a right, neither do they make it right), and yet we still come up short because we are doing it, whatever “it” is we are doing, without real and true love. “Love does no harm to a neighbor”. (I Corinthians 13:1-13) “’Who is my neighbor’” a Pharisee asked Jesus? Hmmm, look in the mirror first. How you treat that person is how you will treat others, spirit, soul and body. You are practicing on you.

Every day, everywhere we go or don’t go, what we say or don’t say, what we do or don’t do – in some way we are affecting and effecting the life and lives of others in some way, positively or negatively. This is the Domino Effect. It is more important “how” we “fall” (“falling” is not necessarily a negative thing in the context of this blog message) than if we don’t fall at all. In the game of building dominos (and in the game of life and building up people and relationships, which is no game at all), the fun is in the building and the falling. Together. J

In “Robots”, after Rodney knocked over Mr. Bigweld’s domino creation, Bigweld did not get angry. He wanted them to join him in rebuilding it again. He kept such a positive attitude about it all even though it took forever for him to build it the first time. He built it for that very reason: for the rush of the tidal wave which they shared with him. Let’s do it again!

Peace.

Living From the Inside Out Part I: The Art of Listening

A while back I wrote a blog topic about hearing and listening, communicating effectively with each other. For some reason I cannot seem to get away from this topic, and maybe it’s because every day of our lives we hear and listen (maybe), we speak and do, we communicate with others which requires that someone listens while the other one speaks.

While studying to become a psychologist I enrolled in a course titled “Techniques in Counseling”. This course was all about learning how to listen, and therefore we spent a lot of the time playacting to demonstrate good and bad listening skills. The best counselors are the best listeners, and it is probable that the best listeners can be great counselors. Maybe it should have been called a communications course, but that term is used differently in our contemporary times to describe interacting with others through the media and internet etc. What did we learn? Well, I wish everyone on God’s green earth could take a course like this one, or at least have a professor like the one we had.

We learned that to really be able to help others we first needed to hear what they are NOT saying as well as what they ARE saying. This required that we stop talking period, even in our own minds, so we could be THERE fully with the person, not trying to complete their sentences, not trying to tell them what they feel and mean, not trying to rush them along so we could fix their problems with our analyses. We learned that if ideas come to your mind while the other person is speaking, don’t interrupt them for you are the listener now. Respect them enough to allow them to finish their thoughts all the way through, no matter how long it may take for it’s THEIR story and their problem. Discreetly write your thoughts on a piece of paper in a few words so you may bring them up later, for maybe, just maybe if you let the speaker talk long enough, they may cover what you are thinking, for guess what? Counseling is 95% listening and 5% speaking. J So, if you don’t like to listen to others, and the only person you want to hear talk is yourself, then you need to become a stand-up comedian. But eventually you will want to know why no one is laughing when you’re speaking, or why are they laughing behind their hands with smirks in their eyes and faces, instead of laughing WITH you. Hmmmm. Maybe it’s time to do more listening than talking eh?

Can you hear me now? Can I hear you? Usually when we ask these questions we’re asking how good is the reception of our method of communicating like when talking through the telephone, walkie-talkie, or even through the computer. (Can you say “skype”? LOL!) When we go to a hearing specialist it is to test how well we can hear with our ears, how well is sound landing on the auditory organs in our head. Are we experiencing any blockages to sound? However, when we ask “are you listening?” we are asking a much deeper question. We are asking not only can you hear and understand the words that are coming out of my mouth, but do you understand what I mean? Do you understand where I’m coming from? (Ended that sentence in a preposition; But that’s the most popular way to ask that question n’est ce pas?) In order to understand where you’re coming from, I must learn the art of listening.

The catalyst that propelled me in this direction of thought this week is a popular verse of scripture in the Christian Holy Bible. I have heard it quoted and toted and I’ve even noted it and wrote it a zillion times; everyone helping the speaker to finish the sentence because we all “know” this verse so well. So many things in life are just like that: so popular, so natural and normal to everyone that we assume that we and everyone else truly understand what it means. But for my own life, (and I can say by observation that I am not the only one who has suffered from this same malaise) I must be honest to confess that I did not truly “understand” at the heart level what this scripture is truly saying, and thus what it really means. I struggled to live it according to the understanding I have had all these years of the English words used to translate this particular verse (as well as many others), just to end up in the land of frustration again and again, wondering why I’m not seeing and experiencing the desired changes for myself. Oh, I’ve not yet spilled the beans yet have I? Okay, here it is, found in the Old Testament book of Proverbs: “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” (Proverbs 23:7a, Amplified Bible). Hmmm, notice that the writer, King Solomon, the wisest man who has ever lived, did not say “For as he thinks in his mind. . .” neither did he write “For as he feels in his heart. . .” He said “For as he THINKS in his heart.” (This includes ladies too. We have not been left out, not by God anyway.) Very interesting. So exactly what IS he saying to us?

Well first of all, for the first time in all these years of reading this verse out of context, I decided to read it in its context to get all the meat and fat and skin on the chicken this time, and I was taught in my pastoral classes and other Bible courses that you must consider the verses around (before and after) the one verse you are studying – at least one complete verse (and if that verse is an incomplete thought, meaning it doesn’t end with a period, you must back up some more – or advance until you get to the first completed verse. This is how we keep Bible verses in their context and cut down on much confusion.). So let’s do that because I found the context of this verse also enlightening and very meaty for another blog topic. Yep! J

Proverbs 23:6-8 (Amplified Bible): “Eat not the bread of him (or her) who has a hard, grudging, and envious eye, neither desire his (her) dainty foods; For as he (she) thinks in his (her) heart, so is he (she). As one who reckons, he (she) says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost]. The morsel which you have eaten you will vomit up, and your complimentary words will be wasted.” Ooooh, this is cutting like a knife. Can you imagine being close to someone who really is jealous, envious, angry and holding grudges against you, yet who invites you to eat in their home time and again? But because your heart is not like that, you in your naïvete continue to fellowship with this person because your thoughts are pure and loving towards this person. Hmmm, so our focal statement of Proverbs 23:7a is true for both sides: “For as he (she) thinks in his heart, so is he (she).” I found it necessary and a lot of fun to do a word search so I could understand at least two words: “thinks”, “heart”, and “is”. Oh my bad, that’s three words. J See what I’m saying.

From the Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, the word “thinketh” (as recorded in the King James Version of the Bible, the basis for Strong’s) is from the Hebrew word (#8176) “sha’ar”, pronounced shaw-ar’ meaning: from a primitive root to split or open; to act as gatekeeper; to estimate – think. An opening, door or gate. Oh my goodness. At first glance these words to describe and define “thinks” don’t seem to make sense, but then if we realize that the original translation of Aramaic and Hebrew words are pictures/symbols, then maybe we can get clarity. We tend to think of “thinking” (no pun intended) to be the job description of the mind, but this verse is attributing it to the heart and is equating “thinking” to be a door, a gatekeeper. Which may be saying to us that what gets into our hearts through the gate, the doorway i.e. our thoughts, is what we become. It reminds me of the adage “the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. Well the thoughts that rock our hearts rule our world/our lives.” Whoa Sally! Hmmmm.

The word “heart” is from the Hebrew word (#5315) “nephesh”, pronounced neh’fesh meaning: a breathing creature, i.e. animal or vitality; in a figurative sense (bodily or mental) – any appetite, beast, body, breath, creature, mind, soul. To breathe. Hmmmm again with four m’s this time. It seems that Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived is trying to tell us something very important, that our “heart” is our life, our very breath, existence, our vitality, and he is not referring to the physical beating heart. He is referring to the spirit of the heart, for we know that without a beating heart no creature can live, but only humans have been given a spirit by God. God did not breathe His spirit into the animals and insects, only into humans.

So what I’m getting so far is that the words that enter my ear gates and lodge into my mind as thoughts, and then become beliefs in the heart of my spirit and the spirit of my heart is/are what rocks my world for good or bad. I am ruled by what enters my spirit as facts and truth whether they are lies, or the truth. I therefore AM what I think. “We are what we eat physically” (too much beef can leave us with the rear end of a cow) can be applied to this as well – “we are what we ‘think’ i.e. believe, breathe in.” Our reality is created from the inside out, not from the outside in. Sure, people can cause us problems and people can help us solve our problems, but when the final verdict is in, everything we are comes from within, from our own beliefs and desires. We may live for years adjusting our beliefs and desires to accommodate or imitate those of others, but when the rubber meets the road, we become what’s inside of us. This is why we must be careful what we “breathe in” – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Secondhand cigarette smoke and vehicle emissions are not the only pollutants we must strive to avoid “inhaling”. We must guard the gateways to our hearts for we will look like our thoughts, sound like our thoughts, feel like our thoughts, spend our thoughts, BE our thoughts whether they be conscious thoughts, or residing on the subconscious level of our being.

The art of listening therefore is doing what Solomon’s mother advised her son in this verse of scripture: “Keep and guard your heart with all vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life.” (Proverbs 4:23, Amplified Bible) Again, to keep this in context you need to read the previous verses and the one after this one, but for the sake of time and space (the final frontier) I will just summarize them. Solomon’s mom (also a wise woman) admonished him to pay attention to her advice concerning life issues and to let them guide him through life and in dealing with people. She told him that her advice and the commandments from the Lord would help him to live a healthy life. And when we get to this 23^rd verse I’m reminded of our verse of study above where our “thinking” is the gatekeeper to our very life’s force, for she told Solomon to ‘guard’ his heart. I can see security guards and bouncers and the guards of Queen Elizabeth’s palace standing around my heart to help me keep out all unsavory characters. Because I “is”, the third word in our study, what I think. This is a continual verb (and noun? hmmm), not one of a “has been”. It means that I am continuing to be whatever is playing at the theater of my heart. The only way to change the movie is to change my beliefs, and the only way to change my beliefs is to change my thoughts, and the only way to change my thoughts is to change what I am hearing and how I am hearing – mastering the art of listening.

If we want to live a healthy life, we cannot spend our time with those who have grudges against us for any reason, real or imagined, for if they have these “thoughts” and beliefs about us, then their actions will soon match their thoughts. Scary isn’t it? We cannot continue feeding ourselves information which disagrees with our values. We cannot leave ourselves empty waiting for others to fill us with what they want us to hear, do and be. We must open our “doors” (our thinking) only to whatever is “true, . . . worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, . . . just, . . . pure, . . . lovely and lovable, . . . kind and winsome and gracious, . . . virtuous and excellent, . . . praiseworthy . . .” (Philippians 4:8, Amplified Bible). (Please read this verse in its context when you have time. Philippians 4:6-9. It will be well worth your time.) We must master the art of listening – hearing not just with our ears but with our minds and hearts, so we may discern well whether what we are being fed is “food” fit for a king. See you soon for part II: The Art of Learning.

Peace.

Living Above One's Means or Living Within One's Needs? Hmmm.

I guess it depends upon one’s life experiences and perspective, and of course cash flow. Now what may seem extravagant to someone making $30,000 a year may be peanut butter and jelly to someone making $150,000 annually. You do the math.

I was reading an American male’s profile on a would-be dating site if I were dating, and he said he was looking for a woman who lives within her means and doesn’t get into debt unnecessarily. I kind of adjusted what he said to how I “saw” it, then I deleted his profile from my inbox. LOL!! Who in the world gets into debt unnecessarily these days? Because our country is in debt, as are most countries on this planet, as soon as you are born and given an ssn and an address, you are in debt. If the IRS can find a way to make you start paying taxes by age seven, then that’s what will happen. Last wills and testaments are so necessary in order to guard loved ones from being saddled with debt after a death, for the government hates death. Why? Someone has to pay those outstanding bills, and now that you’re gone to that other home on the range, they cannot harass you anymore. You do the math. J

Anyhoooo, back to my original thought. I was thinking about the high cost of living: To live healthily versus to live trying to restore one’s health. Or another scenario: To live healthily versus living frugally to the bone and then trying to restore one’s health. Hmmm, which is more cost effective or efficient? Which is considered to be “living within one’s means” rather than above one’s means? Which is considered, or when is one considered to be living within one's NEEDS?

Okay, I’ll get more specific with a common, true story scenario (hmm, I’ve used that word already.) that hits close to home. I am a meat eater. Always have been and always will be. It’s my blood type – type M-E-A-T positive. J I tried to go vegetarian a few years ago and became twice the person I was. That was more than I could handle – seeing double everywhere I went, and the other me always getting there 10 steps before me. The doctor asked “where’s the beef?” Well, often on my mind was the concern “but what about my cholesterol?” How will I be able to keep it from spiking later in life if I’m pasturing with cows and pigs everyday? So much to learn, and I hope a lifetime to spend doing what I’ve learned. But fast-forward back to the future.

“Your cholesterol is at the limit” the African French Doctress said. “Your HDL is very good, but your total cholesterol is at the maximum and we need to make some diet changes.” Uh huh. “Demi-lait”. (half-fat milk). I don’t like or drink milk. She said “no problem then.” (in English this time. LOL!) Cheese and butter also half fat (50 % graisse). Oh, I can eat a cheese’s cow! J “Only olive oil.” But I just bought a new fat bar of butter. I chimed in “I eat yaourt (yogurt) instead of milk.” She responded, “fine, but only 50% fat.” So she made a list of the best options for me. Then we began talking meat. More fish per week. I’d already been trying to do that but dropped my pole in the lake. Gotta go buy a new fishing pole.

Chicken and turkey. Yes! No skin. Homer Simpson’s “Doh”!!! There goes KFC and Micky D’s fried chickens on the bone (or bones with chicken). Fried-and-with-the-skin-on. Somehow I always knew this D-Day would come. I put my head in my hands and wept. LOL! I cried ‘no skin’! That’s just not possible. That’s not real chicken. I told the doctress J I would remove the skin after I cooked every last bit of the fat and juice from it. We laughed and again she said, “remove the skin”. Anyhooo, we decided beef was necessary only once or twice a week and that I must remove ALL of the fat BEFORE cooking it. Somehow I did not feel deprived. Can you say “George Foreman’s hamburger machine”?

All these years I’ve been reading about lowering one's cholesterol, and making small adjustments here and there, but rarely could bring myself to remove the chicken’s skin. After all they have rights too. Another change I never quite got around to was the buying of salmon. I’ve known it’s the best fish for you, and it is also one of the most expensive, so I would not buy it. I could get twice as many hamburgers, fish, pork chops, and ham slices for the price of a four-pack of anorexic looking salmon steaks. I had to live within my means.

Well, that trying-to-be-frugal-to-the-bone life style has landed me in a place I was trying to avoid and it’s called “The Jefferson's highrise cholesterol”. Now, I can either continue buying more for less NOW and end up paying a higher price just around the corner, or I can make the adjustments and buy the more expensive-good-for-me items, and lower my overall cost of living. Okay simply put, I can change the mantra I live by from the one my culture has raised me to live by, and then I can live the life I’m meant to live. I can live within my NEEDS, no matter how much they cost and no matter what others may think about it, for my needs are MY needs, and I can live happily ever after NOW. Or I can continue living within my means (whatever that means) and end up paying more to try to restore what I already had (and have) in the first place.

I’ve heard people say “oh it’s easy. I go shopping here for this and that because I can get it in bulk for less, but then I drive to this store for thus and so, and I get all my dry goods at this place. . . And then I prepare my meat like this before I prepare it to be cooked, and I do this . . .” (Either way, it looks like we all are paying somewhere. Yep.) Okay, that’s fine and good, but we’re all not the same. We don’t all live the same life-styles on the same budgets. Heck, many of us are using different currencies on different continents. Some of us live in cities surrounded by public transportation so we don’t spend money on vehicles, insurance, tires and repairs, etc. And don’t forget, gasoline. J But we do spend a lot of time waiting for those buses and trains etc. While others of us live in towns that are at least 30 minutes from the nearest convenience store with a gas pump, a modern gas pump maybe. Can you say “shopping mall”? Hmmmm.

For one person to live within his or her means will be different from another person’s, and usually we’re living in what we believe are our NEEDS. But for me, I’m just beginning to see, and learn and believe that my means and my needs are not the same, and I need to reassess my life based on my NEEDS and adjust my means to fit the task.

I’m using a simple story to make a point for me, and sharing this with you just because . . . hmmm, I want to. J Not because it’s gospel or TRUTH – for Jesus is truth. But because it is a lesson I’m learning and maybe it will inspire others to do their own life-change searches. I’m not writing a new Bible or Allnthejeans World Book of Facts and Stuff, but just doing what I love to do and was created to do – share stories. The Bible says for those of us who are children of God, “My God shall supply all of your needs according to His riches in glory, by Christ Jesus.” [Philippians 4:19, KJV] Hmmm, I like that. So when did we start living by MEANS? When did that verse get changed? See, the Kingdom of God culture is different from our independent I-can-do-it-myself-and-my-way-politico-libero-supercalafragilisticespialadotious-north-south-AfricAmerEuroAustralAsian earthly culture. God did not promise to meet all my means. Maybe that’s why we’re not living the “abundant life” according to the Garden of Eden blue print. Our minds are too small (but greedy. Yes, greed is the sign of a small mind.) concentrating on what WE can do rather than believing, and living in what God said He would do (and has already done) through Calvary first, and then the empty tomb.

I NEED to live in good health. I NEED to decrease the high cost of my cholesterol. I NEED to eat more good-for-me foods such as expensive salmon and veggies that God created to meet that natural NEED in my life. Man overpriced them, but God gave them to us for free. Hmmm. Alors, God knows where I am. He knows where you are too. He knows where and why He has placed us where we are and what we are to do, and who we are created to be, and thus He knows how much it costs for us to be HERE. J So, with that said, I can afford to live within my NEEDS because He has already provided. He has already done the math.

Peace.