Fractures, Breaks & Bruises

Recently I witnessed up close and personal (albeit not against or towards me mind you) a situation where someone was injured. As I observed this person’s actions in the wake of the incident I allowed my mind to recall injuries in my own life and in the lives of others I know personally, and some of the lessons we learned through them. And this is what came to me . . .

Fractures and breaks are those injuries which involve the bones and they can appear on x-rays. I’ve talked to those with fractures and they say the pain is worse than a broken bone. Wow! A fracture is like a crack and it is an awkward injury. Not quite a break, but yet rendering the limb or body part useless for a while, and also needing to be guarded and protected with plaster of paris (no pun intended) i.e. a caste.

A break of course is a . . . break. The bone is no longer one piece but at least two, maybe more. It too must be protected, is painful, and the limb or other body part cannot be used for a good minute. Because it can be seen by all, the patient can and will receive sympathy and much needed help without solicitation.

In my own personal experience I’ve never had a fracture or a breakage (maybe to my little toes when I stumped them on the coffee table in the dark while walking through the living room on my way towards the staircase.), but I have experienced bruising/bruises from time to time, and they can be so painful, especially depending on the location, and of course the depth of the bruise. I noticed that you rarely if ever cover a bruise with a special bandage unless the skin has been significantly cut which would invite an infection. Again in my case, that was never the case. I was blessed for the injuries not to be that extensive, yet deep enough that I am able to empathize with others who have been bruised – physically as well as emotionally and psychologically.

When caring for the bruise I would guard it with my hand or the positioning of my body so as not to allow anything to come in contact with it. I was very “defensive” concerning that injured area. Hmmmm. You can hear what’s sizzling in the skillet can’t you?

Because we’re trying to protect the bruised area we usually keep it covered and hidden from view, but also because they are unsightly and we don’t want people to suspect anything false or maybe the truth, or to think the worst when there is no "worst". Nevertheless, bruises don’t have a good reputation. They can occur at any time for myriad reasons, but our responses and reactions to all kinds of bruises are the same: protect.

Protection usually comes in the form of defensiveness, as previously stated, guardedness, emotionally closed, as well as shortness, impatience, cutting and biting, having a sharpness to one’s personality. So when you think of weapons that are used to physically protect – knives, guns, bats, sharp objects then you can get a mental picture of what happens beneath the surface of our being human when we experience “internal” injuries.

The problem with living from a bruised disposition is that we treat everyone as a potential and probable “criminal” against us, a perpetrator of our pain. Over time, if we do not seek help from being bruised by the words, actions, or deeds of others, but instead continue to internalize them, we build our entire personality around the bruise, and even after it no longer exists in “real time”, our character will still be molded to a phantom. It will be as though we are rehashing the past again and again even when we’re not thinking about it. Yet from time to time something will happen, what psychologists call “triggers” which will awaken the memories in our psyche and we will be taken back to the future. Because the past becomes the present and the present becomes the future; it will be like “groundhog day” until we get tired of being harassed and hassled by what others have done against us, for they’ve done what dogs do: they do their business and move on, but leave you standing smelling like . . . (feel free to fill in the blank with your own descriptive terms.). Ahem. Anyhoooo, we cannot Undo what has been done to, for or against us, but we can decide what we will do in the wake of it all, each and every time. I’m still learning to practice these tips, so I’m sharing them with you as I continue living.

1. Take a bath. LOL!! This is the first thing to do when you encounter a disrespectful dog. Get rid of the stench and mess, and maybe even discard the clothing. On the emotional and mental side this may take the form of prayer and reading God’s Word first to “cleanse” your mind and emotions from the situation so you can think more clearly. (Even talking it out with a safe humane person.) I know this is what is necessary for me, and it works. But sometimes I have to take several baths after one incident. Don’t worry, this is normal. Think about people who come in contact with skunks! Ick.
2. Forgive, release and bless. We forgive because we too need to be forgiven. None of us are perfect and we all hurt others from time to time, whether we know we’re doing it or not. Sometimes people may never come to us and tell us what we have done. They may be exercising forgiveness, release and blessing towards us, or they may just be avoiding us to prevent from being hurt again, or they stay away to heal and regroup. Jesus tells us in John’s gospel that if we don’t forgive other’s their infractions (i.e. sins) against us, then God the Father will not forgive us our sins against Him. Hmmm, I really need and want God to forgive me of my imperfections, so I work hard to forgive and release. What does it mean to release? It means you are willing to “let it go” or “let them go”. It’s like setting a prisoner free, not making him/her pay for their crimes. This doesn’t mean you become a doormat for them to walk on you again and again. Think about it: in order to keep a prisoner, you have to become like a “watchdog”. You’re not free to go either for if you leave, who’s going to keep your prisoner for you? And think again: would you want to be held captive by someone you’ve injured? Injured animals are dangerous to be around, and so are injured humans who don’t seek help and healing. And to bless. To me, when I bless those who have hurt me, I experience the greatest relief and release in my spirit, soul and body. Words are a powerful force and when we use them for good towards others, not only do they experience something good, so do we. It has been scientifically proven that people with arthritis are full of unforgiveness, deep resentment and bitterness, and when they forgive, release and bless those who hurt them, their bodies release the toxins and pain of that painful dis-ease.
3. Learn. The first thing I’ve learned is that as long as I live and remain among other humans, there will be lifelong opportunities to be hurt by them, some in passing, some in my close relationships, some work-related. And guess what? There will be the same number of opportunities for me to hurt others whether on purpose or inadvertently. Another lesson I am learning is to be more quick to hear and listen than I am to speak, because most infractions can be avoided if we learn to use our two ears more than our one mouth. For once words exit our lips, they cannot be taken back. I often ask myself “is it necessary for me to verbally respond, or would it be better for me to just be quiet?” Will my speaking help, or add something good to the situation, or will my words leave victims in their wake? The Bible in the book of James says the tongue is a fire. Here, I’ll let the apostle say it in his own words, “Even so the tongue is a little member, and it can boast of great things. See how much wood or how great a forest a tiny spark can set ablaze! And the tongue is a fire.” James 3:5 &6a (Amplified Bible). Remember how the wicked witch threatened the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz? Hmmmm. Don’t play with fire.
4. Be considerate. Treat others the way I would want to be treated. Think about how what I do and say will affect others by thinking about how I would feel if they did it to me.
5. Let love rule. Love does no harm to a neighbor. I Corinthians 13. Once again, this is not being a doormat, so you will just have to read this love chapter to see what (and Who) love really is. Love is not sappy and syrupy. Love is not a bisous and it is not a song or a flower. Love is stronger than that. It is not an emotion, for emotions change. There is human love – phileo, eros, and storge. And there is Divine Love = Perfect Love = God – Agape. It is not affected by who and what we are or what we do. It is not controlled by our emotions, words or deeds. It is the most powerful force in the universe and one must receive God into his/her heart in order for this Agape to become a reality within and through one’s life. Period.

I am sure you can add to this list from your own life experiences, and you know like I know that it is not always easy to pat your head and rub your stomach and chew gum and walk backwards all at the same time. J But once we begin to slow down our roll i.e. our thoughts and words and the speed with which we share information and respond to incoming missiles from others, we can decrease the number of casualties in society from becoming bruised souls, for what goes around indeed comes around and we reap what we sow. But maybe this sowing and reaping principle will open our eyes even wider when explained this way: when we sow a seed, it is not a seed that we reap. No, instead we reap a tree (or some other plant) with fruit which contain more seeds with the potential for more trees and fruit, and so on. And don’t forget, unless we cut down the trees after the first season of fruit-bearing, they will bear fruit again, and again and again.

Do we really want to reap the words and deeds we sow into the lives of others? Do we really want a return (compound interest style) on our “investment”? Do we really want to be bruised as we have bruised others? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Anyhoooo . . .

Peace.