A few weeks ago, leading up to Valentine’s Day I saw a television commercial about couples who found each other on some dating site. The commercial displayed couple after couple, males and females and even females with females kissing and kissing and kissing. I was in shock to say the least and did not see the commercial anymore after that one episode, but my mind started its usual turning as I thought about where I’m currently living, and how “kissing” seems to be the mark of this culture and country. They call it “bisous” and when you greet each other you kiss each cheek at least once, sometimes twice. Yet, I’ve seen some of those same people who kiss each other turn around and “stab one another” in the back.
To me, a kiss is a very intimate act, more so than a hug, even if it is given on the cheek, for it requires our faces to touch whereas a hug does not necessarily do that. Strangers when we meet. Hmmm, so how can we start off in each other’s space like that? I have been in situations where the people who “bisous” me hate me just because I am who I am, not because I’ve done anything to them; just because I do what I do and they do not have the gifts and talents I do, yet they don’t know the price I’ve paid just to be who and what I am, or even to still be alive. A few years ago I asked that people not “bisous” me if they “hate” me for whatever their reasons, for I wanted to keep my enemies and potential enemies “in front of me” and thus not be deceived by “a kiss”. At first there was some backlash, but I was so glad I took that stand for it indeed worked. The wolves in sheep’s clothing were revealed and the goats’ bleating no longer got confused as the bleating of the sheep. J For a while I felt, and was very “alone” in that environment, but I never stopped being the authentic person that I am. Which also paid off.
I no longer cast my pearls (my affections) before swine (people with evil intentions, etc.), but I allow God’s love to guard my heart so the hatred of others will not become mine and then I end up with a problem I didn’t have before. God’s love is so powerful not just towards us from Himself, but within us on our behalf. Let me explain. J
God’s love inside my heart allows me to love those who are unlovely and need to be loved because I too have been unlovely, and I too need to be loved. His love encases our hearts like the force field on Star Trek so when the arrows of bitterness, hatred, resentment and other negative forces come at us through/from the pains of other people, they do not penetrate our hearts, no matter how much pain we may experience in that moment. Eventually, in most cases His love will melt the hearts of stone in others who come against us for no reason at all other than the fact that they are unhappy campers whose tents got blown away by the wind and rain, and they need a “warm place to stay”. Then they realize we who are protected by God’s love, are the temporary warm place for them to take shelter as we lead them to receiving God’s love for them, for He is their shelter from life’s rains and He is the Healer of their pains.
I thought about another kiss in history, a famous kiss which cost a man His life. A kiss from another man, a “brother”, who had spent at least three years following Him, one who He had personally chosen to be one of His friends; one who was His accountant and the one who would make sure things were in order for His arrivals. Why a kiss? Of all things, why use this intimate act to betray someone you say you love? Why use this intimate act to pretend that you like someone when you don’t? Why a kiss? Why use this most intimate move to deceive those around you, throw the hounds off the scent of your . . . negative feelings towards someone? Why a kiss? Why even get into the space and face of someone you hate and put your lips on their skin? I ask these questions not because I have the answers but because I cannot see doing this, and I don’t do it. J And if I can discern that someone “hates” me, I do not put them in the position to kiss me; I do not place myself in such close proximity for them to “stab me in the back”. This is what the misuse of a kiss is all about – stabbing one in the back.
When you read the Song of Solomon, the characters speak of how lovely and loving and tasteful and delicious a kiss is. They make kissing sound so yummy, even virtually, that you want to find your lover and just eat him or her up off the plate. J There’s no betrayal in their kissing. There’s no deception in their embracing. There is no bitterness and jealousy as they inhale each other’s perfume and exchange the love within their spirits. Whether it is the kiss between lovers, a kiss between parents and children, between siblings, and between friends – a kiss should remain something special. It should not be used as an everyday wash cloth or worse yet, toilet paper. Please forgive me if that’s too heavy for you, but we live in “heavy” times and we need to call a spade a spade so we can stop deceiving ourselves into thinking “we’re all alright”, because we’re not alright. The world is starving for love, real Love but we’re still sugar coating this need with fringes, and party favors.
I currently spend most of my time in the country that’s supposed to be known for “love” and lovers because of the romantic movies based upon it’s language and one of the most famous cities in the world, Paris. Yet all around this city and country are the homeless living on the streets, people in a constant hurry and rush that they will knock you down and not help you back up, people who will not help a lady being raped by men on the metro, residents who mock what they don’t understand yet will imitate and “take” what’s yours and not pay for it. If this is love, and if this is the price one must pay to be loved, then I think I would rather do without it, at least coming from human beings. But I know this is NOT love, and I know there is a “more excellent way.” Love is not defined by a kiss, for even dogs will kiss you when you stoop to their level or bring them up to yours.
Here is love: 4. “Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. 5. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. 6. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. 7. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. 8. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. . . 13. And so faith, hope, love abide . . . these three: but the greatest of these is love.” I Corinthians 13:4-8, 13 [Amplified Bible]
I have a special acquaintance (and he’s not the only one) who said he doesn’t believe in God, but he does believe in love. My response to him was “God is Love, so I’m glad you believe in love.” This is not that “bisous” stuff. God is greater than a kiss, and I’m so glad He is. Another writer said it like this, “And we know (understand, recognize, are conscious of, by observation and by experience) and believe (adhere to and put faith in and rely on) the love God cherishes for us. God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him.” I John 4:16. [Amplified Bible] I don’t usually quote single verses in this way for I don’t want anyone to try to build an argument or foundation on one scripture verse alone based on something I’ve said, but the one single verse that I do feel safe with closing this “family moment” is John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (that would be Jesus the Christ), that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” [King James Version]. And Jesus did it, because of a kiss.
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